He wants to nurse!

Nathaniel wants to nurse. I have pumped until my back aches (it really does ache between my shoulder blades from sitting on my bed pumping!) and hoping that I would be able to nurse my baby boy again. We started him on feedings but he kept snuggling in like he wants to nurse. I thought it was crazy but decided since we monitor him to make sure he keeps his oxygen up while eating, why not try. The first few times he latched on but only nursed for maybe a minute or two at most. Today he acted like he really, really wanted to nurse and wouldn't even take a bottle. He nursed for 15 minutes several times today. He doesn't even want a bottle anymore, he wants to nurse!!! I am so excited. I am SO excited. This is the greatest blessing. I was so sad that I wouldn't be able to nurse him, but he is pretty serious about nursing. Yippee Naters!!! What a great thing this is!!!!

Over one hurdle, working on the next....

What a week it has been. Tuesday Nate's tube came out again. I was frustrated knowing that once again we were facing a mess trying to get it back in. In our town there is no such thing as an NJ tube. Nobody has one. We've asked!!! I met Thayne at the hospital hoping we could get there before the radiologist left because there would be no way for us to get it replaced. We spent several hours AGAIN in the emergancy room only to be told that they could put an iv in and keep him till morning and then see if they could replace it. Because... get this, the radiologist did not WANT to come back in. He was on ON CALL but didn't want to go in until morning. Isn't that sweet of him???? (I'm going to let it go or I would blow just thinking about it). The problem was, they didn't know if they could even put it in. So our option was stay and hope, leave and know. We left for Salt Lake. We got there Wednesday morning at 1:30am. The radiologist left at 11pm. OF COURSE!! They needed to put the iv in so he would stay hydrated until we could get it put in. Amazing how they could put the iv in and Nate did not even cry. Nothing, not a tear. Had they tried here it would have been a nightmare.... we know that because we have seen it happen too many times to count. Of course this happens the day BEFORE we had to be there for his FEES test and GI clinic appointment!! But.................

HE PASSED HIS FEES TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What does that mean you may ask? (Well... somebody may ask!) It means that his epiglotiss if FINALLY working like it is supposed to. It is finally protecting his airway and we now have the okay to start thickened feedings. That is the first hurdle!!!! We can now start oral feedings every 3 to 4 hours for 5 to 10 minutes so he doesn't get tired out. This is the GREATEST news! The new hurdle is teaching him how to eat. It seems strange, it seems like eating would be a natural thing but nothing has been easy with Nate! :) He now has to learn how to control his tongue, how to move the food and how to coordinate swallowing/breathing. He's like a newborn all over again, maybe even worse. He always had feeding issues and it is worse now that he is older and has had the tube down his throat for close to 3 1/2 months. On top of that, the tube seems to make him more congested. When the tube was out he did not have any issues with swallowing or rattling in his throat. As soon as the tube went back in the saliva started to build up again. The ENT said that it didn't matter, it would cause that. Funny, when the camera went down his throat, it clearly showed that around the cord there was saliva built up. The problem is that we can't take the tube out yet because there is no way he would get the nutrition he needs without it and since he is only 11lbs he can't afford to lose any weight. Next month after his evaluation and more tests we may be able to go to an NG tube and see about letting him do without for a while and eat without the tube. He is a little fighter, tough and amazing and I know that we will overcome this too. He's going to come out on top. The strange thing is, he nursed for just a minute today and he actually does better nursing than taking the bottle.

I am constantly amazed and upset by the medical care we are getting though. Nobody wants to work together to heal the whole child. The ENT doesn't work with the GI clinic, the GI doesn't work with the pediatrition, nobody knows what the other is doing. They told us it wouldn't be a problem to have an NJ tube inserted, but nobody has one in town. We definately have to fight for every babystep we take but this little man is so worth the fight!!!!

Our little trooper will overcome all. He already has!!!

Hayden Robert

My sweet Hayden Robert was born 8 years ago on April 7th. I can't believe he is already 8 years old. I am amazed at how quickly the days go by and before I know it, my little ones are grown. I had an amnio to determine whether or not his lungs were mature for delivery. It came back that he wasn't quite ready. Close, but not quite. So we pushed the c-section to April 11th and we came home to wait out the week. You always hear about the best laid plans... a couple of days went by and I started having labor pains. I really tried to ignore them since I knew we already had the date set, but those pains weren't letting up. It didn't matter that we were a 4 1/2 hour drive from the doctor. I finally broke down and called and they told us to GET OVER there immediately. Well... getting packed for 10 kids, a husband and everything ready for the baby and loaded in the van was no small accomplishment. We finally got loaded and I took some Tylenol 3 and we drove. Thayne asked a couple of times if I needed to stop but I told him just to drive! By the time we got there, dropped the kids off at my mom's house and got to the hospital the nurses were frantic. They had actually called all of the hospitals between here and there to find out where I was. I told them to talk to Moses... that moving a small nation across the desert isn't easy! They got me set up and soon my sweet little man was born. 8lbs 2oz and 21 inches long and simply amazing! He was the sweet boy I had known I would have at least 2 years earlier. We had just had Wyatt, we were driving home from Wyatt's 2 week check up and I was reading some family history Thayne's aunt had given us. I was reading about some great great grandfathers, Robert Robbins and Haden Wells... and suddenly I felt like this person was in the van with us. Chills ran up my arms and I KNEW, I absolutely KNEW that we were going to have another son and his name was supposed to be Hayden Robert, named after 2 other great men. I looked over at Thayne and said, "We are going to have another son." He said, "I know." I said, "And his name is Hayden Robert!" He said, "I know!" I knew he was ours, I knew he was supposed to be part of our family. He was the most beautiful baby. He's still amazing. He is such a boy. He loves cowboy boots. He loves cowboy hats. He would sneaks Thayne's cowboy hats and literally wore them out. He loves outside. He loves all things boy!! He is so sweet, loves to give us hugs and kisses. He can't go to bed without kissing us goodnight. He is such an amazing part of our family. Sometimes I sit back and am amazed... I wonder what my life would be like if I would have quit having kids when others told me I should. I can't imagine life without this sweet boy in it. He is such an important part of our family. And 8 is such a great birthday. He will be baptized in less than a month. What an awesome time that will be for our family!!! And Hayden LOVES his family. He had a name for everybody, all of his siblings. One year we took a gift basket to a family that had lost their home to fire right before Christmas. We included a card that had our family picture on it. The man was having Hayden tell him all of the names. The man was teasing him, asking which one was the fastest, "Oh, probably Jace, he plays soccer." Who is the oldest, "oh Garrett is the oldest." Then he asked, "Who do you love the most?" Hayden looked at him like he had grown two heads. WHAT? You don't love one the most. You love them all. The man kept trying to trip him up, and finally Hayden broke... "Well, Kailee is my buddy, Kami is my precious....." and on and on. The man just started laughing and said, "Boy, he doesn't like his family at all does he?" Family is everything to Hayden!

I love you buddy!

Hayden wanted a 'dirt cake' with worms and bugs so that's what he got!!! The last pictures are of the kids during Family Home Evening. It was an object lesson and they all willingly got on the 'plane' with Hyrum as the pilot! :-) They loved it and even the big kids joined in. I thought it was hillarious and of course took pictures!!!

Mining

Mining is in our blood. My dad was a hardrock miner most of my life. It is a way of life. It is a passion. A true miner never gets it out of blood. Underground miners are a special breed. But when they love it... they truly love it and it is hard to leave behind. My dad has been a mine since I was a little girl. Thayne started mining about 20 years ago.

Yesterday Thayne took us on a tour at his mine. Garrett and Jace wanted to take some friends and we were taking some friends of ours. He's a school teacher so it is definately a different way of life underground. Garrett and Jace have both worked in the mine. They think they like building houses for a living but it was funny to see their eyes light up like Christmas morning while they were 'diggering up' and helping the rest of us get ready. Miners 'digger up' or 'digger out'.... diggering up is getting ready to go underground. Clothes, belt, hardhat, light... diggering out is getting out of the mess and back into normal clothes! :) Some girls like a man in uniform... I've always been a sucker for a man diggered up and ready to go underground! :) (okay, to be fair, I'm really partial to Thayne diggered up, that's about it!)

I have the greatest respect for what they do in a mine. I am amazed at how little the general public understands about the importance of mining. We could not enjoy the comforts of life without mining. We live in a mining community and there is a popular bumper sticker that says, "If it's not grown, it's mined." If there is ever a tragedy underground, the news coverage is there, people shouting about how dangerous it is, how there must be more regulations, more this, more that... without actually ever knowing what they are talking about. I have heard an aquantance one time speak about how she hopes her kids 'get an education' and won't go into mining. I always laugh at this because well... her husband is mining and likely wouldn't make the money he is making in mining by having 'an education' and also because mining has provided a pretty good living for my family. My dad jokes that it took a lot to keep me best dressed in the year book hall of fame. Thank heavens for mining! And it's provided the opportunity for me to stay home and have babies while Thayne worked... so who can complain! And I love seeing what Thayne does. He started out on surface as a laborer, and is now one of the bosses, over production at a huge underground gold mine. It's impressive to watch him work. He knows his stuff. He does his job well and he amazes me!

I have issues!

I know it is MY problem, and I will get over it. But sometimes people just bug me! Which is a problem since I am a people person. Thayne is the one that really could care less if he was around people... I used to like people. Maybe it is the stress. If I had a dog I could say that the more I know people the more I like my dog. But I don't have a dog and with my OCD I really don't care for dogs. So what does that say about people???

Can somebody please explain to me why people say things without thinking about what they say?

Last night we went to dinner with the other bosses from Thayne's job. Every single time I see one of the guys there, he asks me if 15 is finally the number and are we done yet. I can't help it. I am like a rebellious child when I get asked that and always say, "Never say never" because it just bugs me. WHAT does it matter if we are done? He doesn't feed them. We always get at least 5 minutes worth of questions about if/when/will we have more children. I get curiousity, but we all know what it did to the cat!!!

But that isn't the worst of it. I recently saw a lady in the store that I haven't seen for a while. She asked if I had another baby. Yes.... 3 months ago. Then, after just asking if I had HAD a baby, she said she heard we had problems with him. Yes, we did. She then says.... I kid you not.... she said that it was likely because I had so many kids that it finally caught up with me and he got the BAD GENES!!! Apparently for anyone interested, you only get so many sets of 'good genes' and then they run out and the poor kids at the end get the bad genes! She then mentioned that maybe I was so old now that my genes are worn out and it must be the reason that he had reflux problems. Because I was 39 when I had him!!!!!!!!!!

Okay.... I could even go for the 'old' theory. So what do you say to the young moms who have kids with the same problems???? But really. This woman is a mother. You can't tell me that as a mother she has never felt any 'mommy guilt'.... so let's see if we can add a whole heaping helping of guilt to a mother who has already wondered, "Did I do something wrong? Could I have prevented it? Was this my fault?" UGH.... really!!! I wonder if we all learned to think before we speak, wouldn't the world be a better place???

Just wondering!!!!!!!!!!!

Earth quakes, food storage, planning for the future!

Over a month or so ago a little town not far from here had an earthquake. Thayne and I were in Utah but the kids felt it. Several times after we felt aftershocks. Usually it happened early in the morning and our bed would shake for a few seconds and then it was over. Thayne and the boys have been over helping the town rebuild. That's the neat thing about our area. If anything bad happens everyone jumps right in and helps each other out. Our church was the first there and had meals prepared for the town and brought in supplies. It's a great thing to work together and help each other out. Our stake president spent a lot of time talking about the need to be prepared. Of course in the Church we have been told to be prepared for a wslong as I can remember. We do really well and then something comes up and we end up using our food storage. Which I guess is the whole purpose of having a food storage. One year we lived off of our storage for several months. We had a lot of medical bills and had to pay for prescriptions out of pocket and wait to be reimbursed. It felt good to have that and know that we didn't have to spend very much at the store and was able to get by with what we had. It's now time to stock up again.

And our family has taken the challenge to get prepared for the future again... Everyone that works is now donating to the family fund. It's fun to see how everyone giving a little adds up quickly to be a lot! And I LOVE case lot sales at my favorite store. I love to see how much I saved on my receipt. I dwent shopping this morning and filled my car with cases of food. I spent $250 but I also SAVED $250!!!! It's so fun to shop like that!

Yesterday mornig the house was quiet. Everyone had stayed up late the night before watching movies. It's spring break. And finally they slept in!!! But at 6:12 am another aftershock hit. I had 4 little ones in bed with me and they slept right through the bed shaking. But that's okay... we have been told forever that if we are prepared we shall not fear. I guess the little ones have nothing to fear!!! :)