Reasons my kids make me laugh....

There are days when I just sit back and laugh at the things the kids

say and do!

They are so much fun, and they have the best personalities.

I may be a bit prejudice but really,

my opinion of them is the only one that truly matters!!! :)

My kids love music.

They love all kinds of music.

We can listen to classic country,

then on to 80's rock and then all of the stuff that plays on the

radio today

all in one road trip.

Nothing better than listening to your 3 year and your grandson

rocking out to 80's music in the back seat!

We like a variety.

Yesterday while we were eating dinner the kids were talking

about listening to Conway Twitty's

Don't Cry Joni.

Kami pipes in about how she LOVES that song

and before we know it

Kailee has it playing on her phone.

Because you know,

they all have music on their phone.

Nate even has an old phone full of music so most nights

I see him plugging it in next to my bed making sure it is charged

so he can listen to his music.

But, back to Joni...

The kids are now singing Don't Cry Joni at the top of their lungs.

They know every song.

Kami is into it like she was born to sing classic country.

And then Nate gets into it.

They are singing their little hearts out and we are laughing so hard at it all.

But as the song finishes,

Nate goes running through the kitchen where he sings to Caitlyn...

"And Caitlyn you married my best friend GORDON!!!!"

We all just stared at each other as he ran into my bedroom.

And then we bust out laughing.

He keeps singing that Caitlyn married his best friend Gordon!

It was funny, it was cute,

but honestly it was one of the sweetest things ever,

because it is so true.

Jace is Nate's buddy... his best buddy!

He loves Caitlyn, always has!

But he sure punished Jace for a couple of months that he left him.

I couldn't help but think how much these kids know,

even when they are so young, they know so much.

Thanks to all of my kids for making me laugh...

life is to be enjoyed,

and you give me a million reasons to enjoy it every single day!!!

January???

Is this January? I double checked the calendar today because it just doesn't seem possible to be enjoying weather in the 60's and it is only the end of January. It was BEAUTIFUL! Blue sky, warm! It felt so much like spring I am actually a little worried what the real spring is going to be like! Guess global warming finally caught up to us??? Is this a little strange or what? At one point 49 of the states have snow, and now the kids are playing outside at the marina without a coat?

Thayne and I went to the movie this afternoon. Country Strong. Bad choice! I should have just went to the marina instead! Walking out of that movie left a feeling of dark clouds and depression... yuck. The marina would have been a much happier place to be!

Because it was so warm the kids couldn't stand it, they had to get out and go to the marina. Nate was so happy to be there and kept telling Kailee to go higher on the swing. What a wonderful day... we will enjoy the spring weather when we get it, because tomorrow it will probably snow! Swinging...

Kami loving the weather...

Best sisters... Kami loves her big sisters, looks up to them so much. And they love her right back. They are so lucky to have each other!

Is it obvious??? :)

As I was getting ready to leave last night

I asked Thayne,

"Does this look obvious?"

He gets this look on his face and said,

"Oh my heck, you look pregnant? Are you pregnant?

When were you going to tell me?"

Oh I love that man!!!

13 weeks...

Every day Nate brings me the doppler

and asks to listen to his 'brudder'....

He also tried to listen to the baby in dad's belly too!

He hasn't told me if that one is a boy or a girl.

But he is certain the one in my belly is his brudder!

Celebrating Caitlyn!!!

We celebrated Caitlyn's 21st birthday tonight!

Her birthday is tomorrow but Jace came over

and grilled the most amazing tasting steaks

and we got to celebrate Caitlyn being born!

She is so wonderful!

She feels like she has always belonged to the family

and it is so fun to watch her with the little kids.

She treats them so good and they love her too!

We are really lucky to have her as part of our family!

Happy Birthday Caitlyn...

Hope this year brings one wonderful thing after another!

We love you!!!

And thanks for the yummy steak Jace.

Sunday is fun day...

There is nothing better to do on Sunday evening that to have dinner

with the family.

Jace had to work but Caitlyn came over and got him a plate,

she says he prefers his mom's cooking...

I say he is still just a mama's boy and that's alright! :)

Tiffany, Garrett and Gabe came over too

and after we ate we just got to hang out in the living room

and enjoy the time together.

I love moments like this.

When everyone is laughing and happy!

Although Kassi has a special way of grossing Kinzee and me completely out!

Gabe even danced on the table for us which was awesome!

These are the moments when nothing really special is happening,

but those special moments leave imprints on your heart!

For some reason Hyrum went and stood in the corner.

Thayne said it's how we have fun,

kids don't need to be punished to stand in the corner,

we just do it for fun.

Nate took Garrett's seat when he stood up,
So Garrett sat on him!
Don't worry,
No little Nater's were hurt in this picture!

Gabe dancing on the table!

Blowing kisses and making noises!

Silly girls are changing their dad's ring tones...

It's going to be embarrassing for him when he goes back to work

and his phone rings!
I love these girls... they are so fun!

Gabe is famous for his monkey sounds,

so everyone got in on the act tonight!

Gabe grabs his ears, pulls them out and makes monkey noises for

our entertainment!

Nate gives a great foot massage,

but he always insists on one in return!

God Chooses the Crucible In Which We Are Tried

Tonight I was watching one of my favorite LDS movies, Emma Smith: My Story. I could watch it every week. But tonight something really hit me at the end of the movie. It was a quote that said that God chooses the crucible in which we are tried. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't know exactly why it hit so hard... I have said before that I have never felt the need to blame God when we are going through trials because I feel strongly that we are sent here to be tried. But lately I have felt, well, I guess I have felt the weight of depression and sometimes I wish it is something that could be cast aside forever... never to come back! But I have felt for a long time that this may be the one thing that I deal with forever in one form or another. I asked Thayne one time what I could do to get rid of it, to be done with it! He said that maybe I wasn't supposed to get over it because it gives me sympathy, and compassion for others who deal with it in one form or another. I guess that is what is important about our trials... that we aren't supposed to pick what they are, we just get to keep walking through them trusting that the Lord is working to make us the best we can be. So, after I heard the quote, I 'googled' it to see what I could find... and I found something written about Abraham, and his trials. That was a pretty big test. Take your son, the one that you waited years for, and sacrifice him! "Take now thy son." The thought was 'now'... and how we debate, how we know that something is right but how we find a million reasons to argue about it or put it off. It talks about how we have to have our will in line with the will of God and that every test is a test of will before we actually follow through. So how did Abraham react? He acted NOW. He didn't argue, and really, what parent wouldn't. I think had it been me I would have been standing there demanding an explanation. WHAT? How could you promise something and then demand that I give it back. Oh wait... isn't that what we are all asked? I am given agency... and then, the only thing really asked in return is to react 'now' when I am asked. I was 'talking' to Tallin through emails today and he spoke about how we do not receive our miracles until a trial of our faith. Faith proceeds the miracle. Faith comes first. Miracles do not give us faith. Faith brings miracles! Abraham got up and went where the Lord told him, he didn't argue and he didn't try to understand through the eyes of 'flesh'. He just did! I have seen in my life when I just trust, that the Lord knows best. I felt that peace that day on the life flight trip with Nate, when I realized that I was nothing and that the Lord was everything and that He had greater plans than I did for both myself, and Nate! There was peace in that moment, even though there were storms raging around me. I didn't know the outcome of the situation, but I knew the real outcome was the only one that mattered. I don't get to choose my trials. God chose the crucible in which I would be tried. But I get to choose how I will react to those trials. This quote is what really hit me....

"Abraham did not choose the sacrifice. Always guard against self-chosen service for God; self-sacrifice may be a disease. If God has made your cup sweet, drink it with grace; if He has made it bitter, drink it in communion with Him. If the providential order of God for you is a hard time of difficulty, go through with it, but never choose the scene of your martyrdom. God chose the crucible for Abraham, and Abraham made no demur; he went steadily through. If you are not living in touch with Him, it is easy to pass a crude verdict on God. You must go through the crucible before you have any right to pronounce a verdict, because in the crucible you learn to know God better. God is working for His highest ends until His purpose and man's purpose become one."

I realize that my purpose isn't as 'high' as God's. So in order for my purpose to become one with His, it is probably me that needs to look at things differently. If I were the one to pick my 'crucible' I surely wouldn't make of myself what the Lord wants me to be. We often pass that crude verdict thinking that what is asked of us is too hard. But I am slowly learning that nothing is too hard... when the Lord is in charge! I guess I am needing to be refined more... I know that one day the darkness that often descends will be gone for good. But for now I am grateful for those moments where the sun shines through the dark clouds and I get to see the beauty of the light shining through... it gives me hope that one day I will be what I am supposed to be and that one day I will not doubt when I am told 'now'.

Looking for offense

"He who is offended when offence is not intended,

is a fool;

he who is offended when offence is intended,

is a greater fool.”

~Brigham Young

Offense... it seems the world is looking for offense and quite honestly

it is exhausting.

It's exhausting to be offended,

and it's exhausting to be around people who are constantly offended.

I was always more of the mind set of,

"Tell me if you want me to be offended so I can be,

so I won't offend you!"

But I guess this all goes back to the whole idea of looking for offense

because my problems are worse than your problems.

And lest anyone think this is about you, or to you, or for you...

It's not!

So don't be offended.

I don't blog for anyone but me, and my family.

This is our life,

my life,

something to give to my family to know of my love for them,

the things I hope for them,

the way I feel for them,

the way I feel sometimes.

My purpose in life is for them to become amazing human beings.

I love to keep a record of my thoughts, feelings and hopes and dreams.

So if you happen to read this and you think it is offensive,

if you think it is about you... it's not, and

it is a free country and you can choose to not read,

or not be offended.

I love that Brigham Young, a long, long time ago

was teaching that being offended is foolish.

It's true.

And I realize that growing up, and getting older

make you look at life differently.

I used to think I had to make everyone happy...

To apologize if someone else was hurting...

whether I had anything to do with it or not.

I felt responsible to make people happy.

People that had nothing to do with my life except that they happen to be

taking up the same space.

I would put my own family out to make sure the needs of

others were met.

Not that giving, serving or helping is a bad thing...

but I realize that many people really don't feel the same way.

A lot of people are all about themselves and what they have,

or don't have, or want to have because someone else has it.

I am not saying that I have completely moved past feeling that way.

Sadly I still wish I could make everyone happy,

be everything to everybody...

That is a hard habit to get over.

But I have realized a few things that make me want to take a really hard

look at my life,

and maybe clean house.

So to speak.

I have been in a place where being a friend sucks the life out of me

and takes away from my family...

and I just don't like it.

I have known people who are looking to be offended

and you have to walk on egg shells just to be sure you

don't say the wrong thing,

because you know that they are looking for you to say the wrong thing!

There are some people who find offense even when you try to comfort them.

They are offended over words of comfort,

offended over actions...

you can say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing

even when your intentions are good.

But -

I have also known people who are just so kind,

so good.

Who are true friends,

because they don't judge the way you do things,

the way you parent,

the way you think.

They just love you... because they aren't looking for offense!

Over the past couple of years I have learned a few things

and I am realizing more and more what I do,

and do not want in my life!

I have learned that:

~some people demand compassion, but have none for anyone else

~just because you share blood, doesn't make you a real family

and some of your closet family do not share any blood at all

~kids will often act childish, sadly, often grown ups will too

~people often demand more of you and less of themselves

~some people keep score... they have a bright recollection of all that they

have done for others, but remember very little all that has been done

for them

~there is too much competition... and too little compassion

~too many people demand perfection from others and think that

they have nothing to change in themselves

~people lie and cheat and tell false stories

~sometimes friends turn on you for insignificant reasons

~life doesn't have to be perfect to have great joy,

you just have to look beyond the imperfections

~cherish those you love because life moves so quickly

I guess I am just finding that it is exhausting to surround yourself

with people who are looking to be offended,

and there is too much to be enjoyed without worrying about who

you might offend.

Not that it isn't worth being good to people

because it is what we should be always,

that is who we are...

It is possible to have perfect compassion and perfect empathy,

because nobody experiences the same things in the same way.

The point is,

we are on this earth

TO experience!

To share, to lift, and to love perfectly.

It doesn't matter that someone hasn't experienced exactly what I have,

They still can hold my hand and cry with me when I am in pain.

I have a friend who cried with me as I worried about my children.

She hadn't gone through the same thing I had,

but she was my friend,

and she loved me and carried my burden as if it were her own.

When she went through something similar

she knew that I was there for her, praying for her, and loving her

perfectly, because she is my friend.

We don't have the same set of trials,

but we have each other...

and that is enough!

Those are the kind of people that I want to surround myself with.

That is what is important.

Friends are friends when they see the good,

and ignore the rest!

I love friends like that.

And am thankful for them.

SOIS ~ girl asks the guy dance

Tonight is SOIS... the girl ask the guy, semi formal dance that the girls look forward to many weeks in advance. Kassi asked Braden... by going to his house and covering the ground with kisses and a note that said, "Now that I have kissed the ground you walk on, will you go with me to SOIS?" In return, he brought a bucket, yes a bucket of Skittles into the video store telling her to count them (It was a BUCKET!) and if it was and even, or an odd number (I can't remember which) then he would go. She totally cheated because she saw a piece of paper at the bottom of the bucket that said just in case he miscounted he would go with her! Kinzee and Bree and several other girls decided they would go hang out and have fun tonight too... I hope they have a blast. They all looked wonderful!!!

Kassi ready for the fun night ahead!!! Looking good Kass! Tanner and Amanda, gorgeous and ready for a fun night!

Bree and Kinzee are too young to date, but never too young to DANCE!!!! Gorgeous girls!

Kassi and Braden... ready to party like rock stars (good thing partying like rock stars is acceptable to us!!! Well... mostly because they are good when they party like rock stars!)

Amanda, Tanner, Kassi, Braden, Bree and Kinzee... all decked out and ready to dance the night away!

Where Heaven And Earth Meet...

I needed yesterday so badly!

Winter is not sitting well with me this year and

days without sunshine have not been good for my mood.

Depression seems to be a constant companion,

even as I feel much joy in the actual living.

So I was thrilled when my sweet husband

told me that we would leave as soon as I was ready.

I asked him where and he said, "Let's go to the temple!"

YES!

Just the words I wanted to hear.

We thought about going to Twin Falls,

but it looked like there would be delays for road construction

so we decided to just go to Utah and ended up at the

Oquirrh Mountain Temple.

The peace that comes when you leave the world behind

and walk into the temple is indescribable.

I left every emotion but joy at the door.

Joy to be there,

Joy for my husband,

for my family,

for the gift of being able to carry this child.

I left my fears,

my hurts,

the depression outside of this beautiful place

and absorbed every good thing!

Even better,

we were able to be the witness couple which is always

such a special experience.

I prayed for peace...

And peace came!

As we sat in the beautiful Celestial Room,

I thought of when we had taken the kids to the open house

and how in awe they were over the beauty of the temple,

and how the girls kept saying they wanted the same chandelier

(in a smaller size of course)

in their bedrooms!

And how bad they want to be able to go there again someday!

I thought of how much my family means to me,

how grateful I am for the belief of eternal families

and for the blessings that come in the temple.

Spending the day with my husband,

my best friend and my eternal partner was so wonderful.

Oh, lately we spend every minute of the day together

but this was different!

This was one of those times when your soul is filled and you can see

every good thing in your life.

And when you are certain that forever is not long enough...

I am grateful to be married to a man that makes me laugh,

that fills my heart and that even when no words are spoken

we know that we are one in purpose.

Thank you for the amazing day...

for taking me away from the cares of the world

and for giving me a little bit of heaven!

With Great Love...

They say if you don't have anything nice to say

You shouldn't say anything at all...

and lately I have felt like that.

A LOT!

But I was looking at the sweet faces

that I call mine...

and the saying is true,

Maybe I've been put on earth to be an ordinary person,

Not to do anything great,

but to do something small that involves great love!

And I realized that I have something nice to say after all...

I love doing the ordinary...

with great love!

Happy Anniversary Tiffany and Garrett

Garrett and Tiffany celebrated their 2nd anniversary yesterday...

2 years ago we got a brand new, amazing daughter

to love!

She has been a great addition to our family.

It's amazing how well she fits in and how everyone loves her.

She is perfect for Garrett.

It is the most amazing gift to see your child married to someone

who loves them so completely.

Nobody in the world could be more perfect for Garrett

than Tiffany is.

I remember the first time she walked into our house.

I realize that Garrett was the one that had to choose who he would marry...

but several times before he had asked me how you know you are in love.

I told him if he had to ask,

he wasn't!

And then he met Tiffany.

The first time I met her I had the most peaceful,

calm feeling and I knew that she was the one.

Thankfully Garrett didn't mess it up ;)

and knew right away that she really was.

He told me that he now understood what I meant when

I told him if he had to ask it wasn't love!

We are so happy that she is part of our family.

So blessed for all that she has brought to it.

We hope that this year brings them so much joy,

and that their dreams continue to come true!

And thank you for Gabe...

we are a little prejudice about him,

but we think he is definitely one of the best

things that we got because they got married.

Happy Anniversary...

2 down,

forever to go!

Green, my new favorite color!

I've never understood the term "morning sickness"...
No, mornings are always pretty good...
It's the rest of the day that becomes a problem.
I really am not complaining because
each day that I feel that familiar churning
I smile.
Because I know that it means that things are going well.
I listen to the heartbeat every morning to make sure
it is still beating strong.
And I tell myself I am going to get up and get going
and have a busy, productive day...
and then that sickness sets in...
and I lose all desire to even move!
I was pretty sure I didn't hide the fact that I am pregnant
from the kids
because it isn't like me to stay in bed and not cook dinner
but that is pretty much what my life has been for the last 6 weeks.
I understand I am old now...
advanced maternal age and all of that.
But then, I remember feeling this way long before I hit that magical age...
And I am not complaining...
really I am not!
I am overjoyed at the experience.
Except that I am exhausted from it.
I made enchiladas tonight...
only Thayne had to cook the hamburger
because it makes me sick to cook meat.
I decided tonight that for the next few months
I should just become a vegetarian.
Because my normal love of a good steak
has disappeared.
The tuna fish sandwich for lunch sure tasted good though...
I am pretty sure I have lost what was left of my mind.
I hate to throw up...
I usually don't throw up...
until recently!
And what's worse???
I feel better AFTER I have thrown up.
I will be normal again soon...
I WILL be normal again soon.
Will I be normal again soon???
I am so grateful my family is so understanding.
One day they will be able to rely on me
to have them hearty, home cooked meals again.
I am sure of it.
Just not today...

Or tomorrow...

Gorgeous Day

I am so tired of the below freezing,

hurts to the bone kind of cold.

And today...

aww, beautiful sunshine

and isn't it sad that any time it gets above 35 degrees we think

it is warm!

It was hitting 50 degrees when Hayden and I came home from town.

And the SUN was shining!

I miss the sun so much

when it is gone for days at a time!

I need the sun.

Today Thayne was cleaning the garage and told me

to come outside and look at Nate.

He was SO excited to be able to see grass

that even brown grass was perfect for him!

And decided that he must do something about it.

Like...

mow it!

He was SO happy to be outside.

I asked him if he was sure he didn't need a jacket.

He looked at me and said,
"NO, me burning up!"

So there you have it!

When the sun is out...

we are burning up!

And we LOVE that!!!

Willie's update....

Poor Willie...

He is healing... he is going to therapy every other day now

to cut away the dead skin and clean it well

and wrap it up.

He told me the other night that he wanted me to know

that he was not messing around by the fireplace because

he really knows that it is not safe to do that.

I appreciated how sincere he was

and I know that it was an accident...

but it sure isn't fun to see what he has to go through

while he is healing.

Though he is a tough guy and is doing as great as possible...

So grateful he is healing and doing good.

They said he shouldn't have a terrible scar.

Maybe just a little at the wrist.

The put some strong antibiotic ointment on him.

They were a little worried yesterday that it might be starting to get infected.

It's just time now...

You know he is serious...

Thayne called me into the room last night laughing and

said that you always know when Nate is serious about

going to sleep when he climbs up on the pillow...

This is how this crazy boy falls asleep

night after night,

no matter how hard we try to get him to sleep in his own bed.

If he wasn't so cute I might really get forceful

about keeping him in his own bed,

but for now...

we just move him after he is asleep!

Again... I am sure

he still won't be climbing into our bed when he is a teenager...

I am sure he won't!

And if he tries,

we will just be sending him to live with Jace

and Jace and Caitlyn can deal with him!!!!

3rd in the Spelling Bee

Kalli making a silly face before the spelling bee!Kalli was one of 2 girls picked from her class to

participate in the spelling bee.

She was nervous but excited.

This morning Kassi let her wear her vest,

her necklace and her scarf for 'good luck'...

Kassi ended up being in 3rd place which got a medal

and she was totally fine with 3rd place.

After the bee she came running up to Kassi

holding the necklace and said,

"You said it was good luck and I held it the whole time,

and you were SO right... it helped me a LOT!"

If you notice in the pictures she IS holding the heart of the necklace!

Good job Kalli...

you did great!!!

My sweet Bummy is 8!!!

My sweet Bummy, Hyrum Craig, is 8 today!

This little boy is so precious to me.

My lucky #13!

How blessed I was the day he joined our family.

I cannot think of his birth without thinking of the spiritual experiences

that came with the pregnancy and birth.

I am amazed at all that I learned about faith, about growth, and about a love

that seems to start long before this life began and one that will last

long after we are gone...

We had our 12th baby and thought we were done.

We had planned on a dozen...

and after 7 c-sections,

a dozen sounded like that was as many as we would be able to have.

And then I started dreaming about a little girl,

that seemed to haunt me every minute of the day.

I heard her name, Kami Dene,

over and over in my mind, and in my dreams.

And we decided that 13 must be our lucky number.

I was worried, and concerned for some reason.

It didn't really make sense,

but I was scared.

But I felt that the little girl that continued to haunt us was meant to be

and in a hurry to get here.

Imagine my surprise when the ultrasound said

we were having a boy.

I was so sure that Kami was on her way that I told them to look again,

that I was supposed to have a girl!

I cried for days!

Not because I didn't want this little boy...

because I did! Oh I did!

But I was truly scared that something would happen and how would that little girl

get here? It really makes no sense now...

but at the time I just couldn't function for fear.

And then one Sunday,

sitting in church I was struggling to understand why I felt so strong about a girl

and we were having a boy.

And I felt Hyrum sitting next to me, crying.

I felt the person who was supposed to be my son,

aching for my heart ache

but feeling sad that I didn't want him.

And suddenly I was sobbing.

I wanted him!!!!

In that instant I knew his spirit, and almost saw in my mind a friendship

that had started long ago...

and I asked him to forgive me for my fear and promised him that I would have faith.

And I knew that he would always be my friend.

That he would always protect my heart and love me unconditionally.

And I felt absolute JOY over being able to be his mom!

It wasn't that I didn't want a boy,

it was just that I knew that little girl needed to come and I was afraid that my body

would fail.

There were several circumstances that made it necessary for me to stay in town

to give birth.

Something that I did NOT want to do but we felt we had no choice.

Looking back, I am not sure I would do it any different

because I feel that what I was supposed to learn

could only have happened here.

The female doctor was fine,

but her partner was a monster.

I still can't hear his name without cringing!

The night before I went to the hospital to have the c-section

Thayne and our friend Tracy gave me a Priesthood blessing.

I remember at the time thinking that I wasn't sure I liked the wording.

In the past I had blessings before my deliveries and they always left me feeling

certain that it would be easy, that I would heal quickly, that all would be well.

This time however, I felt peace, but I did not feel completely at ease.

It told me that through this experience,

I would gain a greater understanding of what the Savior went through for me.

That I would understand His love for us, that He not only suffered our sins,

but also every pain we have felt.

That he experienced every emotion...

and that I would come to appreciate, with a great understanding

the atonement...

My nerves were on edge as we sat at the hospital preparing for the surgery.

I walked to the operating room with Thayne,

anxious to meet my little man,

but scared of the surgery that the monster doctor had made out to be a life or death

experience!

He had told Thayne that he would leave with the baby immediately after

he was born. Because I may or may not live through it all.

Yes! He said that!!!

Funny, my prior c-section was a breeze and my awesome doctors had no problems

and no real concerns at all.

I wished at that moment that they weren't 4 1/2 hours away from where I was!

I had told the dr that I didn't think it was a good idea to let me get so close to my due date

because he would be big and I knew he was stuck sideways.

He told me I didn't know what I was talking about!

He made the normal horizontal uterine incision,

only to realize that this big boy (9 1/2 pounds and 23 inches) was stuck sideways,

in a position that was making it impossible to even grab anything to pull on!

So he then made a sloppy vertical uterine incision.

Our pediatrician, who was in the operating room

said it was the strangest thing to see them pull an arm out, or a leg,

only to stuff it back inside.

Several people were now pushing, almost laying on me trying to dislodge this

very stuck little boy.

I was bruised... black and blue from my ribs to my thighs!

Finally they got him out.

And I heard him cry... which made me cry!

They rushed Thayne and sweet Hyrum out of the room

and I was left there alone.

Worried, and scared. Trying to have faith...

but the doctor was so rude, and made so many inappropriate comments.

He was angry because I wouldn't let him tie my tubes.

HOW could I do that knowing that I had another daughter waiting for us to have her?

I was so scared that my blood pressure rose to very dangerous levels.

The anesthesiologist told me that I was at risk of having a stroke and that he

didn't want me to crash but he had to give me meds to lower it immediately!

They finally took me to my room after I was stable enough

and Thayne handed me my little man.

He opened his eyes and looked right at me

and I felt heaven surround me

and I knew that he was my friend...

and that anything and everything was worth having him there with me!

There had been moments I thought I would die, or at the very least

lose my ability to have another child.

But we had made it and I felt so content having him in my arms.

I was in love again.

Funny how that always happens.

My world stopped just looking at him,

and I knew that I would have never been complete without him!

The care in that hospital however was horrible.

I was so bruised and hurting,

and the nurses just never got around to bringing anything for the pain.

I usually jump right up and heal so quickly

but this time I couldn't even stand up straight.

I asked them to please bring me some medication.

9 hours later I finally got some.

I remember that first night...

I felt pain unlike anything I had ever felt before.

I have a really high pain tolerance and this was something that I had never,

ever felt before.

I tried to get comfortable, tried to find a position that didn't literally take my

breath away.

It was so dark in the room and I was holding my sweet little man

in so much pain that I couldn't even get up.

I started praying to please make the pain go away,

that I couldn't breathe because it hurt so bad.

As I prayed I remembered the words of the blessing,

that I would learn through this,

in a small way

what the Savior felt, and suffered for me.

And for just a moment my mind was open,

and I can say that for just that moment I understood things that I never did before

and I saw the Lord

and I started to cry.

But not for me...

the pain seemed so unimportant as I learned the things that

the Spirit was teaching me.

I look back at that time and can still feel the pain.

But I learned more through that pain that I could ever explain!

And even today....

I look at my sweet little man,

who has the kindest heart, and the most tender spirit,

and I thank my Heavenly Father for giving me the opportunity to be his mom,

and to have had the experiences that gave me an appreciation unlike anything

I had ever felt before for the Savior.

I know that I was blessed to know about Kami

to give me courage to get pregnant again....

It was truly scary!

But I wouldn't trade anything because I learned more than I could have

any other way!

I love my sweet boy...

He has told me since he was old enough to talk that he is mommy's boy.

Thayne would ask him who he loves the most

and he always answered,

"Mom! And you dad, but MOM!"

He promises that he will be a momma's boy forever!

I told him that I wrote it down...

so that he will remember it when he is a teenager.

But he swears that it will always be this way,

that he will always love me the most!

I know there will come a day when I have to move to second place.

But I know that he will always be my buddy...

and that he will always protect my heart!

And he is so excited for his baptism coming up!

I love you sweet boy.

Thank you for loving me,

and for all that you have taught me.

Thank you for being my buddy!!!

Happy Birthday!

Brothers and sisters were so excited to meet little Hyrum!

It was funny because Tanner was sitting in the room with me while

Thayne went to pick up the other kids.

The nurses were signing a new contract and the newspaper was there

to take pictures and write an article about it.

They came in and asked if they could take a picture of the nurse taking my blood pressure.

The nurse had set me up.

The reporter had asked Tanner how he felt to have a baby brother.

Tanner looked at her like she was crazy but kind of shook his head and said fine.

She started making comments that made it obvious she thought this was only my second baby.

The nurses were laughing.

I finally asked them if they had set me up and obviously the reporter didn't know

how many kids I had.

They just kept laughing and asked if they could tell her.

What could I do???

Sure... go ahead.

Well, the little blip in the newspaper in the business section of the Saturday paper

announcing the nurses signing the new contract

suddenly became a full color front page news story

of the nurse, Hyrum and me...

and the fact that he was our 13th baby of the same mom

and the same dad!

Hyrum was famous!!!

Blessing day!

One year old... with such sweet curls.