Don't hate me because our trials are different...

Have you ever wanted to scream,
"Don't hate me because my trials are different than yours are!!!"

Because sometimes I DO!

Several things have happened recently,

whether in real life conversation

or on the Internet that have left me thinking a lot about this.

We were all sent to earth with our own set of circumstances

that would help us grow closer to the Lord IF we are

willing to walk through them with patience

and with the knowledge that we were given them

to become the person that we are supposed to be.

I love the quote (I think by Ezra Taft Benson) that says:

"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that

He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can.

He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds,

strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings,

increase their opportunities, comfort their souls,

raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose

his life in the service of God will find eternal life."

I have thought a lot about how we are supposed to

'rejoice with those who rejoice'

and

'mourn with those who mourn'

but how often it seems that some people think

others should mourn for them,

but that they don't feel they have to mourn for others.

And rejoicing seems more like a competitive thing

where you don't want anyone else to have what you don't have!

I think of the wonderful examples of people in my life.

I think of the friend who lost her daughter to strep pneumonia.

I mourned for her when it happened.

But I can honestly say that the reason I fought so hard for Nate

was because of what she went through.

She taught me through her pain.

She encouraged me to fight for him.

Because of her, Nate is alive.

I would have given anything for her to not have gone through that pain,

but even IN her pain she rose above it and taught others.

Over the past couple of years,

another friend and I went through multiple miscarriages,

often together.

We prayed for each other.

We mourned.

She recently lost another sweet baby.

But she rejoiced when she heard we had a heartbeat!

She didn't begrudge me, or wish for a different outcome for me.

She REJOICED with me...

and through her pain,

shared my joy!

What is it that makes some people walk through a trial

with peace and even with joy in the good things,

while others turn hateful, or jealous, or bitter.

We all have trials... our own special set of them.

Just because yours are different than mine

doesn't mean they aren't there,

and doesn't mean they aren't just as hard to carry.

What is it they say about walking a mile in someone else's shoes?

I would be willing to bet that while we are sitting back

with envy thinking someone else has something we don't...

if we truly walked a mile in their shoes we would

ask for our own trials back!

One comment on a board I go to was that the person was bitter

when they see large families at church.

I understand what she means...

but just because a mom has a large family doesn't mean it came easy,

or that their life is easy right now...

there may be happiness but none of us have it easy!

Just because somebody isn't married doesn't mean they have to

be mad that I am...

just because we are different

doesn't mean we all aren't carrying the trials that will make us

who the Lord wants us to be...

every choice we make leads to consequences.

And sometimes we only get to choose how we will react.

A favorite hymn says,
"In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see..."

Sometimes we hurt,

sometimes a friend betrays us,

sometimes family hurts us,

sometimes a child struggles,

sometimes we lose...

sometimes the answer is no!

I can assure you that because I have a large family

I am not stealing babies from somebody else...

because I have chosen to be pregnant far more

than what someone feels is normal

it's not because it is easy, or without struggles.

Don't look too hard at what you don't have

while comparing it to what I do,

because we all are on in this life together

and life is too short to be mad at,

or miserable about what others are doing.

How about if we truly mourn with each other,

and rejoice with each other...

and carry for each other,

the burdens that we all have.

Don't be mad because you think that your trials are harder to bear,

or heavier to carry.

We find ourselves~

only when we lose ourselves in serving others!

Our trials are easier if we carry them together!