Shout Out to My Favorite Missionary

It makes absolutely no sense but I love to see

that Tallin has been able to check our family blog.

It makes me feel closer to him even though he is

all the way around the world.

It's a completely new day where he is,

And sometimes I miss him so bad it hurts.

But mostly I am just so excited for him and all he gets to see,

all of the new people he gets to meet

and for the simple fact that he is living

in paradise!

Every week when I get his emails

I check the blog to see if he has been on...

and I always smile when I see Suva

on the little map!

I can't wait until we get to go there ourselves

to pick him up.

And see the sights that he has seen,

visit the place that will surely feel like home to him by then

and meet the people that he has grown to love.

But until then,

I check here and wait for the emails

and pray that he is doing well and loving what he is doing!

So...

Hey Elder!

We love you and miss you and pray for you constantly.

And Nate hasn't forgotten you,

and looks forward to going to Fiji!

3 good things in 2010...

My friend asked to name 3 things that made 2010 memorable...

That was easy for me this year.

3 things instantly popped into my head and this year has truly been memorable!

1. Gabriel...

yep, how could that not be number one?

It's so hard to believe that Gabe will be one in seven short days!

I cannot put into words what it meant to be there

the moment he was born.

He stole my heart.

I looked at him and my world changed.

I have read that a grandchild fills a space in your heart

that you never knew was empty.

And that is true!

To see his sweet face the moment he entered this world

it was love at first sight for me.

He is so amazing!

I held him tonight and for a moment he was content enough

to be held... I tickled his little face and sang in his ear

and he leaned into me and for just that second

all was well with the world!

So number one memory of 2010

is Gabriel Lowell.

2. Caitlyn...

She has been part of our lives for years now.

But this year she became our daughter.

And I love her.

For so many reasons.

She is kind...

very kind.

In fact I think there are few people with a heart as pure as hers.

I love how she loves our family.

I love how she loves and accepts the kids and lets them into her heart.

But more than anything,

I love what she filled in Jace's life.

I know he struggled for so long when Kevin died.

I know there were times that he wanted to give up because the pain

was too great.

And I know that Caitlyn is the reason he kept going,

until he could go on, on his own!

I love that she is Jace's best friend and that they have such a

strong foundation to start their marriage.

And I am grateful that she is our new daughter!

Yes, Caitlyn is definitely on our list of things that made

2010 memorable!

3. Matthew...

okay, Matt!

A new son added to the family too!

He came into Kimi's life in such a miraculous way

and has given her the life of her dreams!

She has wanted this for as long as she can remember.

She got a new husband who bought her a beautiful new home

and she is truly happy!

The day they were married I had been sitting alone

waiting for them to bring everyone in for Kimi and Matt to be married.

I was thinking back of the miracle of Kimi's birth and how scary those

first few days were.

And how I had hoped for so long that she would find somebody who

would love her the way Matt does.

And I was crying!

Matt's mom came in and saw me crying and said,

"No tears allowed. This is our miracle today, the miracle we have been

praying for."

Kimi was their miracle for Matt,

but I wasn't crying tears of sadness,

I was crying tears of joy.

Because Matt was our miracle for Kimi!

Which means Matt made the top 3 of things

that made 2010 memorable.

Of course there are a million other things that we remember about this year.

Tallin leaving for a mission to Fiji is another top memory.

Sometimes it is sad to have him gone

yet I know that he is supposed to be in Fiji.

The Lord has a great purpose for him there.

I know it in my heart as sure as I live and breathe!

I miss him,

but the growth that will happen for him

makes THAT a 2010 memory that makes me smile!

I can't believe that the year is gone already.

A decade is gone...

A new one begins.

And I look forward to all the things that 2011 will hold for our family.

Out shooting with dad

Kailee has wanted a pink gun for a very long time and I guess this year Santa thought she had been good enough to get one! So then of course she couldn't wait to get out and do some target practice so Thayne promised the girls he would take them out. While I took Nate to the doctor he took the girls and Hayden and Hyrum out to practice. The little boys have been waiting to get their little bb guns out also. They had so much fun and Kailee LOVES her gun. Kassi will probably be bugging Santa for a pink gun now too!!!

Storm rolling in up in the mountains! The View....

Prepping...

Watch out Kailee.... this one has a kick!

Sweet.....

Let's see if dad can shoot it too...

Helping Kassi....

This might hurt Kass...

Kailee took aim... She's good!

Told you it had a kick!!!!

Hayden and Hyrum getting ready to shoot some targets...

Looking good Bummy....

Real men shoot pink guns!!! :)

Hey Kassi... having fun????

Nice view...

Floppy ear...

Who You'd Be Today

Another year has gone by.

It's amazing how quickly the days go by.

And here we are again,

the anniversary of Willie Joe's death.

Thayne and I were talking about that day on Christmas

when we were looking at the words he wrote just months before he died.

I can't believe it has been 24 years.

I always wonder what he would be doing today,

who he would have married.

How many kids would he have now?

Would our kids be friends,

like we were friends...

Would we live close enough that they would be able to.

I can rarely listen to this song without tears,

thinking of all of those we lost too young,

and how much we have missed them in our lives.

I was so blessed to have known Willie.

I will always remember the conversation grandma and I had about his life...

some people are afraid of feeling pain,

and in doing so they must miss out on the joy.

She said that she would have rather had 20 years of knowing him,

and loving him,

and then losing him...

than to have gone a lifetime of never having him.

Isn't that how it should be?

We should be willing to love with all of our heart,

to not fear the pain of loss,

but rejoice in the love that we are blessed with

while we are blessed with it!

Love doesn't ever die.

It stays with us forever.

And like the end of the song says,
"The only thing that gives me hope

is I know I'll see you again someday."

24 years have gone by...

but I have not let his memory disappear.

My kids know him because I loved him

and share him with them now....

that is what love does,

it goes on and on!

I wish I knew the man that you would have been today

but I am so grateful for the fun memories with you

Willie Joe!

Love you... and miss you!

Instinct? Or something else?

Yesterday we took Hayden to the doctor

and found out he had strep.

He had only really been sick on Sunday

and I thought he had a sinus infection.

I was surprised when the rapid test came back positive for strep.

And as we walked to the car I had a thought that I needed to get Nate right in.

Only Nate wasn't really sick.

Oh, his tonsils are huge,

but they are always huge.

In fact he had been running around the house yelling, "Ah Ha!"

and laughing.

But I called his doctor and they said to bring him in today at 10:45am.

This morning Thayne and I both kept going back and forth about him even

really being sick.

He would act tired, but then get right back up and be wired and go nonstop.

I figured it would be a waste of time taking him.

I tried to talk myself out of it.

But every time I would decide not to go I would feel agitated and upset.

I tried to rationalize it in my mind that he wasn't really sick...

but finally just decided to go.

Dr. H looked him over.

He has big knots in his neck (swollen glands)

but he has those a lot.

It seems to be a common thing with my kids before they get their tonsils out.

But she thought he looked healthy and good.

Then, just before she left the room she said that she would test anyway,

just to be sure.

Nate had been so happy and sweet until he saw the tongue depressor and swab

and he started screaming... and kicking and screaming some more.

He is a tough little boy and it took all we both had to hold him down.

She said he had a lot of mucous at the back of his throat (he always does)

and that if there was strep it would show up...

but she really doubted it was.

He sat on the floor throwing a temper tantrum,

his pride had been wounded I guess.

I kept telling him to just relax and we would get a treat after we were done.

It wasn't long before she came back to the room

and shook her head.

And told me he has strep!

I had been reading back through the years,

and was crying as I read the entries about him having strep

and the life flight trip and the fear of losing him,

and how often his life has been spared.

He is so full of life. So happy to be alive.

He finds joy in every day.

He brings joy to every day!

And today, the feeling wouldn't go away that I needed to take him in,

despite what I thought I knew.

Or what it looked like.

We likely caught it very early.

And once again he is being watched over and protected.

Is it instinct? Is it mother's intuition? Is it a gut feeling?

Or is it something else?

The gift of a spiritual prompting to watch over our family, protect them from harm?

I choose to think it is spiritual.

I have seen miracles before.

Especially with this little boy.

And I am grateful for that nagging feeling that wouldn't go away today,

to make sure I got him in and that we caught the strep early!

Ready for Church

Sunday was a bad day for some of the kids. Hayden had a raging fever and a migraine (found out he has strep) and Kinzee was really sick too. Hyrum wasn't feeling well either so we ended up with only a few kids going to church with Thayne while I stayed home and took care of the sickies! They got all dolled up and let me take pictures of them before they walked out the door. I feel so blessed to be the mom of such amazing kids. They are so fun, so happy and so easy going. I hear people complaining about teen girls and I am just amazed because our girls are so easy to get along with. They are fun! They are happy! They find joy in living and the love others, accepts them and gathers others in where a lot of girls find their little cliques and stay there. And the thing I love the most is how they love their siblings. How they find so much joy in hanging out with each other and how wonderful they are to Thayne and me! What a wonderful gift it is to be their mom!

Kalli and Nate ready to go.... Nate used to love his pictures taken but now he is only tolerent for a few minutes and then he tells me, "That's enough!" Jace says it is because we have a billion pictures of him and we have burned him out of picture taking!

Pretty Kalli... such an amazing girl!

Best buddies and sisters.... just the way it always should be! They are so fun together.

It only looks like she is going to punch her. She is actually holding the scarf but when I looked at the picture it looked like Kalli was about to deck Kami!

Love this picture!

I 'heart' you....

Hayden used to always call her Precious... she truly is such a precious girl.... love you Kami!

Kassi and her baby sisters!

Kassi is one of a kind.... her personality is so huge, she is so out there, so happy and so much fun!

There is always a 'light' around her.... she is awesome!

My sweet Kailee Anne... so hard to believe she is a grown up now. She brings so much to our famly, is so good, such a blessing... so very grateful for her!