Back To School August 27, 2012

 Back to school time came too quickly this year!
I spent so much time waiting for August 16th to get here
that I forgot how quickly the other stuff was coming...
School!
Schedules!
RUNNING!!!
I don't know that I really love this part of it.

But, this is a special year for Kinzee...
she is graduating early.  She worked really hard to get here and so this is officially her senior year!
Willie is a sophomore.
Two in high school!!!
Wyatt and Hayde decided to go back to the middle school instead of homeschooling.
They really debated but in the end, decided to go for it!
Kalli is in 6th grade which means she moved up to the middle school with her brothers!
And my littles... Hyrum and Kami headed off to elementary school...
which leaves me with two little boys at home.
Although Nate will be starting preschool soon.
Oh!
And Kassi wanted her "I am officially OUT of high school" picture taken
on her way out the door to work!!!

Her 2nd White Dress

My mom bought me a white dress,

Not red or pink or blue.

She said it was a special dress

Like very other few,

There has been just one before,

A dress now put away,

That I wore some time ago

Upon my blessing day.

As a little baby clothed In my first white dress,

My dad held me in his arms,

There to name and bless.

So pure and clean was I just then,

With time to grow and learn

About the Father's plan for me.

My glory I must earn.

Now I've reached the age to judge

The wrong road from the right,

And I am here to be baptized

In this dress of white.

So once again I'm free from sin.

The path is clear to me.

I'll grasp the rod and hold on tight, I vow with certainty.

Just as mud would stain my dress,

Sin would stain my soul.

The key is to repent or bleach,

For whiteness is my goal.

And if I try my very best,

Then richly blessed I'll be,

Wearing inside God's holy house

White dress number three,

So today I make this pledge:

I'll strive to choose the right,

Through this sacred baptism ordinance

In my second dress of white.
(Linda Gay Perry Nelson, 1993)

August 19th

 Eight years ago, we welcomed the most beautiful little girl into our family!
I can barely believe how quickly the days have flown by,
and now it is her baptism day!
I am not sure that this day could have been any better.

We had a full day planned...
From beginning to end.
Tallin was speaking in church,
a luncheon after church,
and then Kami's baptism.

Tallin gave an amazing talk.
There were so many people there to support him.
Kinzee, Preston, Allie and Daniel sang
I Know That My Redeemer Lives.
If I hadn't already been crying,
that would have done it!
WOW!!!
It was so beautiful, so spiritual!
It really couldn't have been better.

We had a lot of family and friends come over for lunch.
It was such a great time,
visiting and laughing and enjoying the spirit of the day!
And Kami's baptism was perfect.
Kalli and I gave the talks.
I had asked the kids if they would sing for her baptism.
It was amazing to see all of our kids, even the married kids and their spouses,
 and my brother's kids singing
We'll Bring The World His Truth.

I think my face hurts from smiling so much!!!!

Because we do what we want!

And...
Just because we do what we want!
And have a little bit of a rebellious streak!
The kids very favorite picture!!!

Together At Last!!!

 For over a year I have dreamed about having all of my kids home
together again at last.
Even though I knew it wouldn't last long...
those are the moments, in a mom's heart, that make her the happiest.
Having all of her kids together!
It's like heaven to be in the crazy madness that happens with an
extraordinary amount of extraordinary people together!

When Garrett served his mission,
he also came home to meet a baby brother.
I already told Willie I will be much too old to have a baby
while he is on his mission!!!
But for over a year, I waited for the joy of having them all together!
Tallin would meet his now one year old baby brother!!!

Of course, when there is an excuse to ALL be together,
my kids, and husband also know that family pictures are GOING to happen!
It's kind of a joke that you are not allowed to marry someone unless
they agree to (happily) take pictures once a year at least!
So far so good, although Matt always has his serious face on!

Years ago, when Kinzee was a baby, we were frantically getting everyone ready for pictures, and the boys (Thayne included) started expressing their displeasure at having to do their annual  thing.
I was frustrated and finally just told Thayne to forget it.
The girls and I would go and one day he would be sorry he didn't have more family pictures!!!
Thayne, being Thayne, stared at me for a moment, and then did what Thayne does best....
He told me he loved me and if family pictures make me happy,
they would make him happy too!!!
Any wonder why I love the man so much???!!!
He must have bribed the boys, because they were on their best behavior.
We usually have to get treats when we are done. 
But it's a small price to pay!

For days leading up to the pictures,
the kids looked at the pictures we have taken through the years
and laughed about how you could always tell which kid was mad
and which one had an attitude.
Of course THIS year was no different!!!
Well, it seems the lack of sleep caught up with everyone
and there was more than one with a bad attitude at any given moment...
But I persevered!
The best part about it is that a few days earlier Thayne told me
that he had seen a picture and wanted it to be OUR picture...
All of our family sitting on a hill
in the shape of a heart!
That night, as we were drifting off to sleep,
he told me that the pictures were just the way he wanted them to turn out!
We had fun...
I was in heaven...
because all of my babies were home!

He Is Home!!!

 HE IS HOME!!!!
After 2 long  years, he is home!

I have had a vision of his homecoming in my head since the day we dropped him off at the MTC. 
I don't know why it has been such a big deal to me, but it has...
It was more that I just NEEDED it to be memorable, for whatever reason.
Memorable...
Well that doesn't even cover what it was!!!
In fact when he was released as a missionary Friday morning,
our stake president told us that nothing compares to the day that a child is released from serving an honorable mission. 
He is right!

I spent the entire week before he came home cleaning.  Deep cleaning.
The kind of cleaning the kids hate!!!
And moving rooms around...
he needed a place to sleep!

Thursday night couldn't get here early enough,
and we left for the airport well before we needed to be there,
just in case his plane got in early.
It did!!!
We watched the plane come in and the waited impatiently for him to get off the plane.
I could barely stand still. 
Or maybe I didn't...
When we saw him get off, everyone there started cheering!!!

I got the first hug.
It felt so good to have him safely home, and in my arms.
My baby boy returned from Fiji!
And then his dad got in on the hugging.
I wonder if I will ever be able to look at the picture of Thayne and Tallin without crying.
He had been quite emotional and he couldn't stop the tears when he saw his son again!
I am not sure that my dreams are even good enough to describe the feeling.
For the first time,
all 16 of my kids were together!!!
I had sent my son off, with the faith that the Lord would watch over him,
keep him safe, and make him the kind of man I always wanted him to be.
The Lord answered my prayers...
He kept him safe, and gave him incredible experiences
to become a really great man!

Friday morning Tallin was released from being a full time missionary.
It was probably one of the greatest spriritual experiences I have had.
First President interviewed him, and then called us into the room.
He asked him a couple of questions and then it was time...
Tallin was released from his mission.

President held his hand out for his tag,
and we all bawled as he removed his name tag.
As President handed it to me, Tallin's hand went to his chest, over his heart,
where he had worn that tag proudly for 2 years.
I couldn't help it... the tears were flowing.
But the thing that touched me the most was when President asked Tallin if he had any questions...
I watched Tallin's face as he thought for a minute, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.
Then he asked quietly,
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
I wish I could describe how the Spirit filled the room...
And with huge tears running down President's face,
he looked at me and said,
"Mom, THAT tells you EXACTLY what kind of missionary your young man was!"
My heart was so full I felt like it was going to explode!

His homecoming talk was powerful, and humble, and wonderful.
I can't wait to be able to sit down and really hear about the experiences he had there,
and to continue to get to know my little boy, all grown up!

Welcome home Tallin!!!
I am sure the Lord would tell you, "Well done!"

Praying while he is "On the Jet Plane"

In just over 3 hours my son leave Fiji...
After 2 years, he will get on that plane, to take a very long ride
back to the states,
and by tomorrow night at 10pm I will hug him the way
a mom hugs her baby when he has returned home!!!
He may be all grown up, but in my heart he is still that little boy
that needed me to watch over him...
at least for a minute. 
He won't allow that long, because he has plans to make,
People to meet, and great things to do.

But for tonight... I am sad for him.
Sad that he is leaving his heart in Fiji.
I now it hurts him to know how hard he worked while he was there,
and to know how much they had planned.
I have no doubt his heart will be with the people there
For a very long time!

I know he will come home better...
He told me,
"I know that what I learn here on my mission will be a strong
Foundation for the rest of my life. 
It will help me a lot to stay focused and stay heading in the right way.
I don't want to come home and be what I was two years ago
and I do not want to go home the way I am today. 
I want to go home even better still and keep moving that way.
It is part of repentance...
a principle not only for big sins we may do,
But a daily principle of learning and improvement.
Repentance is for us to grow closer to God,
so if at any time we stop repenting,
we stop moving closer to God."

Grandbaby #4

We got to go with Caitlyn and Jace to the big gender reveal ultrasound on Friday...  This baby was moving all around and waving and the very best news is that we found out we are having our first GRANDDAUGHTER!!!!! 

YES!!!  A baby girl to make bows for!!!  I can't wait.  I don't think I have stopped smiling since we found out!!!   It was the greatest news!!!  And of course she is beautiful already... all 5 inches and less than a pound of her, and she is already loved so much!!!!

No names yet... but Cait already bought her some cute outfits and I look forward to making all of the bows to match!!!!

Little man is one ~ July 9, 2012

I can't believe a year has flown by...
A YEAR!!!
Amazing!!!
Noah is a joy to us.
He is strong willed and determined.
He makes us laugh every single day!
I still can't believe we have him after all we went through...
I can't believe how amazing he is,
and how he worked his way right into our family,
into our hearts...
and none of us could imagine life without him!

I think it has taken me almost this entire year to come to peace
with the traumatic experience of his birth.
For many months I couldn't even talk about it except to a few people.
I spent many months trying to deal with emotions
that I couldn't even explain myself.
There were some really dark emotional days.
But through them all,
I couldn't look at little man without thanking
Heavenly Father for the gift and treasure that he is! 
I also thank Him for the protection He provided and the miracles given
during and right after Noah's birth.
I am not sure I would have asked for things to work out the way they did,
But I know they worked out the way they were supposed to!

Happy Birthday Noah Grant!!! 
It is interesting to know that Noah means
comfort, rest, peace.

Grant... bestow or great.

He is all of those things.
He is amazing!!!
Our lives have been blessed because of his birth,
we have witnessed miracles.
He is my precious rainbow baby...
He came after so much pain and loss
and has given us so much joy!

At the Park July 6th, 2012

Spent a fun afternoon in the park while Kimi and Matt were here...
So fun watching the grandbabies, and my little man play!
I wish Jared lived close enough that I could take him to the park more often!

Just us...

I realized that for 26 years of marriage, Thayne and I do not have a lot of pictures TOGETHER... mostly because I am the one taking the pictures I suppose.  And that I HATE pictures of myself!  So, we are trying to fix this little problem and actually take pictures of 'us' once in a while! 

I love this man... he is everything to our family and we couldn't be more blessed to have him as ours!  I love the life we created together.  I am usually in awe of the man that he is... he is so good to us.  We are his world and it shows in his actions.  Even though he thinks he has a hard time showing emotion, there isn't one of us that have to wonder!  I remember the first time I saw him, and now, looking at where we are, and how far we have come, it is amazing!  I told him on our first date I wanted a dozen kids.  The more I knew HIM, the more I knew that life just wouldn't be complete without having a family with him.  He didn't bat an eye when I told him about my crazy desire to have a mega sized family.  Which would have won me over if I hadn't already been... but here we are, 26 years later, with 16 amazing kids, and going on our 4th grandchild!!!  We are GRANDPARENTS!!!  This boy that I fell in love with, is now one of the most amazing men I have ever known.  I look in the mirror and realize that I look older, much older... but when I look at him, I only see that boy.  The one that made my heart skip a beat then, and still does!  I see him the way he looked when he told me he loved me for the first time.  I look at him and see our beginning, while enjoying the crazy middle we seem to be at right now!  I love him.  He makes me laugh, he makes the crazy life we have created all worth it!  There is nobody in the world I would rather be with!  He is like breathing... we laugh that we don't know where one ends and the other begins.  But that is just the way we always wanted it to be!!!

The Museum

We decided to hit the museum while Kimi and Matt were still in town.  The little kids loved the animals and we had a good time.  It was fun watching the kids and fun having all of our grandbabies with us!  I feel so blessed to have all of these amazing people in my life!  They are simply THE BEST!!!!

The Basque Festival

When we first moved out here, we were very disappointed that the town had no 4th of July celebration... it was depressing and we swore we would not stay in town for the 4th again after the first year!  Because, well... it's the 4th of July people!!!  We celebrate our country... our freedom, it's our Nation's BIRTHDAY for crying out loud!!!  But they only seemed to celebrate the Basque here!  And believe me, I am not complaining about the Basque, because quite frankly it is my favorite place to eat here... and it is always a special treat to hit the Basque restaurants!  It's just that I grew up celebrating our Nation on the 4th of July!

Through the years enough people missed celebrating the 4th around here that there are now celebrations outside of town for the 4th of July... but they still have the Basque Festival.  It's the big celebration IN town... and they have it on the weekend so we mostly get to go celebrate the REAL 4th and then come back to town and hit the parade here!  The kids love any excuse for a parade... and it gives us something to look forward to when we get home!

This year Kimi and Matt (and of course JARED!!!) stayed through the weekend and we got to spend another fun day hanging out together... kids got lots of candy and anytime the family is together, it's a great thing for mom!!!  Happy Basque Day, or something!!!

10 days

These last few days of Tallin's mission have been eye opening to me...

My heart is a little sad, and I didn't expect to feel like this.

I am excited to see my son again... so excited!

Yet my heart is breaking for him, knowing the heaviness of his heart right now

Because he will be leaving a land that has become part of him.

I have sat in the background, miles and miles and miles away from him,

and watched him become a great man of God.

I have watched him learn to lose himself in service and gain a testimony of the Savior

in a way that never would have happened any other way!

I see him ache to leave because he is seeing the great work roll forward,

and he has been a part of that work!

I feel it in his letters...

I feel it in my heart!

I know that he loves us, and even misses us.

But I know, and understand his love of serving the Lord.  I know he loves the people he is serving.

I know that he has found himself,

Because he first, LOST himself!

He has learned that when you serve others, you are really serving the Lord.

A recent conversation with friends made me realize something else about him.

He has turned his life over to Heavenly Father... with no concern for his own fears.

We were talking about how Tallin dislikes water. 

My friend's son said he remembers being at the Rez and how Tallin just did not want to be in the water...

He told me how bad Tallin disliked it.

Yet, my son regularly gets on small boats and has bumpy plane rides...

on an angry ocean that has no care that my son dislikes water!

I asked him how he overcame that.

He told me that since he came on his mission it has not been hard to get on boats or go across...

He said that there have been times when it was scary crossing,

But since his mission anytime he has to get on a boat or plane,

It feels like he is just getting on a normal vehicle and he has a sense of peace.

I have felt that way FOR him.

His "Other Side of Heaven" stories do not scare me.

(for anyone who doesn't know, it is the true story of John Groberg serving a remote mission in Tonga)

Because I have always felt peace.

I have had an absolute sureness of his safety and that he is where he is supposed to be!

He told me not long ago to not watch the show anytime soon because he had had one of those experiences on a boat.

I told him to tell me about it, that I really wasn't going to be freaked out...

This is his story... and after all, the thing that matters most is that he ended up getting to the ceremony only a little worse for the wear!

Well we got on the fifteen foot fiber because we had to get ...

across and that was the only way. At first it was fine just a normal boat ride on the ocean. But as we came around into the open water the waves were huge. They were rolling higher than we were. It was throwing the boat across the water and flipping us side to side. I almost fell out over four times in the first ten or fifteen minutes. The one time we went over a wave I came up off the boat in the air as the boat cracked back down on the water and I was well over the side of the boat and some how smashed back down INSIDE of the boat. And that kept happening the entire way. It was a nightmare! I was praying that I would not go overboard because if I did I would have been a goner! I can hardly swim in a pool, there is no way I can swim let alone stay afloat in rough open water! ha Well, mom, my back was black and blue and from the constant slamming down in the boat it peeled off the skin on my bottom. I had to dispose of those  undergarments. It was all bloody. My back is still slightly bruised. But it could have been worse! And we still got to be there for the Ceremony!

I love this boy!!!

  Oh how my heart is swelling with the joy only a mom can feel
when she sees her children walking in the ways of the Lord!
One of my favorite scriptures is
3 John 1:4
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.My heart is so full I can barely contain it to think of the ways he is walking in truth at this time...
He has experienced floods, mudslides, extreme weather,
illness from food that is not necessarily appealing...
He has faced his fears, experienced the angry sea...
He has dealt with the disobedience of others and stood strong himself.
He has been an example, and he has learned to love the people he is serving!

I can't help myself...
I cry like a baby every time I listen to this song and think of what Tallin is going through right now...
It's called

The Hardest Thing I've Ever Loved To Do

The hardest thing I ever loved to do
Was letting go of everything I ever knew
Nineteen years of dreams left in my room
As I buttoned up the jacket of my suit
The hardest word I've ever loved to say
Was goodbye to my mom and walk away
Choking on my tie and on my tears
As I walked down the hall into those years.
The sweetest song I've ever loved to sing
Filled the MTC on angels' wings
The chorus filled my soul five thousand strong
And I wished it would just go on and on
The firmest hand I've ever loved to shake
Was my trainer's with that big grin on his face
He grabbed my bag and put his arm 'round me
And whispered
I'm gonna work those Mr Macs right off your feet!
The hardest words I've ever anguished for
Came just before some lady slammed her door
My trainer left me hanging out to dry
As a minute of painful silence rolled right by
But the hardest tears I ever loved to cry
Fell as I opened up my mouth and testified
Between the tiny walls of a stranger's living room
The Spirit told their hearts my words were true
The most wonderful sound I've ever heard
Is the sound of water running in the church
As someone I'd come to love got dressed in white
My eyes saw their first glimpse of Heaven's light.
The hardest thing I've ever come to see
Is a man down on his knees in agony
A drop of blood falls down on olive leaves
And for a moment He suffers there for me
The hardest thing I've ever loved to do
Was getting on this plane and coming home to you
In a million ways completely torn apart
As a land so far away still owns my heart
In the most sincere prayer I've ever prayed
I thank my God for each and every day
For the blessing of the man I've come to be
As I walk up and kiss my mama's cheek

I cannot wait to see him, to hug him, to get to know him as the man who has given his life to the Savior...
At education week I heard a phrase that has stuck with me,
it hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard the teacher say it is always interesting to see how quickly family and friends DISASSEMBLE a return missionary.
I do not EVER want to see this return missionary be disassembled! 
EVER!!!

I love you Tallin...
Thank you for what you have done these past two years.
Thank you for understanding who you are, and what you are supposed to do!

The one?!

When Tallin was set apart as a missionary he was told in the blessing that he was being sent to the place where he would find one that he was was supposed to share the gospel with... I asked him Sunday if he felt like he had found that person...I love his reply...

"I am not sure if I found the one I needed to but I am sure that I did help move the Kingdom of God even if it was only a little."

It hit me that this is how we all should be... and how we all should try to act... it doesn't matter that we aren't doing great things... just moving the Kingdom of God a little is good enough!

Sometimes...

Sometimes I post an old post that I had saved and it posts on that date...so sometimes, if you are interested in reading... scroll down because they don't always post in order! :)

The Rez on the 4th of July

Just some random pictures of the kids on the 4th of July at the Rez...  The reservoir holds lots of memories that make me smile!  It was where I learned to water ski, with my uncle Willie and his best friend Steve, who happened to be Thayne's cousin.  Both of them are gone now, but those memories are so fun to look back on!  Best of all is that this is where Thayne told me he loved me, on our first date, and that he wanted to marry me!   Could it be anymore special than that????   The kids had a great time playing in the water and being buried in the sand!!!!