Parenting Styles

I realize we all have different parenting styles.  I don't even expect them to be the same because we all have such different personalities and different experiences.  I am okay with that.  I have managed to raise, so far, 7 adult children... several in their teens and a few more nipping at the heals of thinking they are growing up.  But I am NOT okay with someone, that I am supposed to trust my children with, tell my children that they don't agree with a decision that Thayne and I have made for them.  I DON'T CARE if you don't agree with it.  You are NOT respecting me even if you tell my kids you are, by telling them you don't agree with me.  You simply do NOT understand why we have come to the decision we have.  It may be different than your decision, but it is not WRONG!  We come to major decisions after much thought, and often much prayer.  We also may just happen to know facts about the situation that you do not.  We rarely tell our children a flat out no... and when we do, you can be sure that there is a reason for it!  In fact we tell our children yes as much as humanly possible... we give them experiences to grow, to learn and to figure out things for themselves.  If it is not immoral or illegal we generally say yes!  So IF we say no... there is a very good reason.  If you, as an adult, do not agree with it, it is NOT in the best interest of the child to tell them that you do not agree with their parents. 

I recently had a conversation with a teen... someone I love and would have the same expectations for, and treat the same as I would my own children. In fact that is how I feel about all teens!  He told me some things he struggled with his parents over.  Guess what???  I did not tell him that I disagreed with his parents.  That is NOT my place.  What I told him was that his parents were doing the absolute best job as parents they can.  That they learning like we all have to and that they want nothing but the best for him... so he should give them respect and honor for doing their best.  That's it... that's all.  I would never feel the need to tell him that I disagree with how they do things.  That would undermined everything they are doing for him.

I sometimes wonder WHY we make things harder for each other.  Why don't we just lift, encourage and help each other?  I don't understand it, I don't live in such a way that it is all for me and I know best... I used to assume that everyone lived that way, assuming we were all here to help one another.... but silly me, I guess I was wrong about that!