Bullies

 

What makes a bully?  What makes a person want to hurt someone else?  What makes a person care so little about another human being that they would do something like this, without a thought or care of the damage they could do?

 

A bully did this to my son.  For no other reason than he was stoned, and driving around town our little town looking for trouble.  He drove past more than once.  He parked and went into the gas station where 3 of my sons were buying pizza.  He watched them, he waited until everyone had left the area, and then he approached my boys and said some pretty vulgar things, and then, without reason, punched him full on in the mouth. 

 

This bully is 18 years old.  He wrestled at just under 300lbs (298) on the high school team.  He was stoned, possibly drinking.  He was a star football player, wrestled, golfed.  He has recently gotten into trouble more and more at school.  He bragged about it on Facebook and Twitter, by saying that he taught some boys a lesson for talking 'crap' about him. 

 

Boys... interesting word.  Boys.  My children are BOYS.  This boy, this incredible young man saw this MAN approaching.  Had heard him say that he was 'so stoned'.   He knew that this MAN was going to attack not just him, but his two younger, and much smaller brothers.  Together the 3 boys barely weighed as much as the bully.  There was another guy with him.  The other 18 year old is also the same size. This other guy is no less a bully because, while he didn't hit my son, he is a coward  He later apologized to my son, and said he would tell the truth, even though he was so 'messed up' that night that he only remembers sitting in the car waiting for people to leave.  When given the opportunity to tell the truth, he lied!!!   They are both about 300lbs, but it is not about their size... even though later the bullies, because truly they are not men, said that these boys called them fat.  They did not.  They were terrified.    (However even if they HAD called them fat, which I am CERTAIN they did not... um, hello.... these were two grown men!  The boys were truly scared when the bullies approached.  They were eating pizza at a park bench near the gas station.  When I asked them if they had, in any way implied anything negative about them, one finally said, "Mom, we are really not that stupid!  They were big and we were SCARED!") The bullies went out of their way to approach them, to call them vile names, and to attack them.   My son told his brothers to run, to call mom, and to hide.  He took a full on punch to the face to protect his brothers.  That is a MAN.  This young man protected his brothers, even in the face of great danger... and this WAS danger.

 

Why do we, as a society, let cowards like this get away with such behavior?  Because they can carry a football a few feet on the field?  Because they can take down their opponent on a wrestling mat?  These boys have bullied before.  They have bullied younger boys on the team.  They have pictures of themselves partying on Facebook.  They brag about it.   They KNOW they will get away with anything, and the school lets it happen.  Over and over and over!  The school 'claims' they have a strict bullying policy.  You can list them on a bullying website.  But nothing changes. 

 

It is kind of funny that the bully bragged about teaching boys a lesson at the gas station.  Teaching BOYS?  Who thinks that he is tough when he teaches 'boys' a lesson.  Little boys!  2 of them weighing less than 100lbs and one weighing 135lbs... soaking wet!  Tough.  That's a man, right???

 

The police were notified.  Reports filed.  At some point the DA will decide if charges will filed.  It will take months.  Basically they get away with it.  The school told us this guy has been in trouble many times in school... yet he is finishing up his 'senior' career at high school in all his glory.  A bully.  Will he learn?  Or will he continue the way he is going now?  Sadly, he will probably NOT change.  Why should he?  Society has taught him that he can get away with it.

 

However THAT night, my 16 year old son showed that he had what it takes to be a man.  He protected someone smaller than him, he risked himself for another person.  He didn't care about himself.  He cared about his brothers.  He showed courage.  Courage that the bully will likely never have.  Which is sad! 

 

The brothers?  They showed courage too.  They were most worried about their brother.  They were shaken.  They cried seeing their big brother hurt.  They ran to get help as quickly as possible and to get back to him to protect him.  The sad part is, what they have is what makes them courageous, and is probably what the bully is lacking... which is very likely why he is a bully!