It seems strange that two weeks ago I was wondering how I was going to possibly be ready for Christmas, since I had just started shopping the day before. Funny how insignificant that became with one text, one phone call, and the knowledge that my dad was missing.
Two weeks ago, I waited for news, while my son, my uncles and two of my brothers searched for the man that was bigger than life to me. The man that taught me about life, and love and gave me the will to give 100% at everything I do. The man my mom told me I am just like... that if somebody tells us we can't do something, we do it just to show them we can. I waited. Knowing deep inside that he was already gone, yet wanting more than anything to believe it was a bad dream. Waiting... and then the text. From my son. "Stay at grandma's. We will all meet there." I knew. But I had to know. So I asked why. That I needed the truth. That I was ok, I just needed to know. The reply came. "Mom... I found him. I'm so sorry."
Two weeks ago...
At 11pm, my son and my uncle, blindly in the fog, were led by something, or someone, out of this world, something heavenly, to bring him home to us. The tender mercies have been beyond description. The answers to our prayers have been miraculous. Yet, in the end, we lost the man that everyone thought was bigger than life. Thayne described him as the strongest man he knew. That is how I always saw him growing up. So how do we now go forward without him. Why do hours still pass, and days fade into night, and life continues without him? It shouldn't be possible. A heart shouldn't be able to feel this much pain.
A wise man once said, "In all living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." We have weathered storms that tried to break us, but through it all, we have always tried to find the joy in our journey. Watching our family grow has given us more joy than we ever thought possible. There is joy in the journey, even in the middle of the storms!
I never knew how much love a heart could hold, until they called me mom
7 comments:
Kim - So sorry for your loss. I lost my mom suddenly/unexpectedly to an accident last year the day after Thanksgiving. Tis tough to lose someone you love. You don't know me... just "know" you from Babycenter large family group.
Blessings to you, Kari
Kim, I am so sorry. Your family is in my prayers.
I'm so very sorry. Losses are so hard. Hugs to your family.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Prayers.
Mom, I love you so much. It hurts so much... I think about it often during the day and throughout the night. It isn't fair, but I know how much he loves all of us and now can be with us in a way he never could before to continue to watch over us and help us in our time of need and to take part in our joy and happiness in the future until we can be with him again
Kim (and Tallin!) I am sending positive thoughts to your family. Please know you are well loved and thought of often!
I'm so sorry for your loss Kim. He sounded like an incredible man.
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