12 Days to go.....

In 12 days I will be holding my new little boy. 12 days. Not even 12 days because the surgery is scheduled for noon. It is the 5th of December already. Where did the last 11 months go? Who said time could go so quickly? I have done nothing today. I was contracting all day and since I really need to make it 12 more days, I just did nothing. Of course my house shows that I really did NOTHING. Thank goodness for Kailee. She helps me... she makes me take care of myself. But these last 12 days are the busiest of the year. I have a 1st grade program tomorrow night. This is after another important meeting that we have to attend earlier. I need to be on the phone right now following up with plans for the Christmas party I am in charge of on Friday. Calling to make sure everyone that signed up is bringing the pies and salads, making sure Santa has his outfit cleaned and ready, making sure the 100 bags of candy for good (or bad) little boys and girls are ready for Santa to hand out. I have 4 turkeys to cook, decorations to get ready. Saturday is a baptism we are going to, and then Thayne's company party (I am so glad my sister and her husband are going to be there!) and nothing to really wear since I will be 9 days from delivery and getting bigger by the day but no real need to buy any more maternity clothes. The next week will be just as crazy since I still need to shop and pack, finish Christmas shopping (yes, AFTER we get paid again but BEFORE we have the baby... this will be interesting), get the house in order, figure out what we are doing with the kids, make another trip to Utah for my doctor appointment, which will take all day of driving and nothing accomplished but see that I gained 2 more pounds and yep, see ya on Monday, scout pack meeting to which each boy volunteered to take crepes, becauseit is one of our family Christmas traditions, and sugar cookies because that is another tradition. I have to get the video store ready, the new releases in the computer early, the hours sent in to the owner, the laundry caught up, decisions made on what we are doing with the kids while we are gone. I need to get all of their gifts for school parties bought and wrapped and sent in. I still have a blanket to finish. And a bed to get, and a stroller to put together, and don't get me going on how I still need to put together a Christmas box for Garrett in Puerto Rico and get it sent so he will have Christmas there.... does the list ever end???

Is it any wonder why the days pass so quickly and I still feel like I have accomplished nothing???? I think I need to send the kids on vacation and let me get the house cleaned and then spend the next 12 days in bliss of a clean home and no responsibilities. I have people offer to help me all of the time and then say I don't let anyone help. I wonder what they would do if I actually said, "Oh sure, come on over, take the kids, here's my laundry, shopping list, things to get done list, and could you make sure dinner is on the table at 5:30pm?" They would flip. The offer to help is one thing... :) Living life out loud is something completely different!

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. My mind is tired, but it never shuts off. Thayne tells me I need to concentrate on one thing and not stress myself out with so many things at once. Is this just a man thing? Because every man I know makes his list and concentrates on one thing. Don't bring up too many things, just that one and life will be grand. Women think of 6, 7 or 15 things at once (usually depending on how many children they have!) and know that you cannot do just one thing.... it's not possible.

And knowing me the way I do... I won't even take time to relax in the hospital. I just don't. I stay awake looking at the new baby. I can stare forever at a newborn face. I can't sleep because I will miss those precious moments that I will never get again. And I know the minute I walk in the door I will have to share that newborn with more than a dozen other people who will love and adore that new baby. So, I have decided that in about 18 years I might be able to rest again. But I won't count on it! Because by then I could have 18 grandkids to love and spoil!