Where oh where is my husband?

Well... technically I know where he is. He is somewhere between New York and here! WHY he isn't home in bed right now is beyond me. Last week on Thursday he was informed that he would be going to Toronto. He called me with the whole good news/bad news thing. As if telling me he would be getting another raise was going to fix the fact that he would be leaving VERY EARLY Sunday morning and wouldn't be back until Wednesday. Why do men not understand the way a woman's mind works? (never mind, don't answer that, we don't want to offend any man that might read this!) How can this possibly be a good idea to leave the week before your oldest son comes home after being gone two years.... after 2 1/2 months of major medical stuff and one worn out mom, he is going on a business trip! But it just seems to be the way my luck goes recently that the ice storm that was hitting somewhere out there, was hitting TODAY! The day he was supposed to be home. After cancelled flights, rerouting and being stuck in the airport in New York for many hours, he was finally on his way to Salt Lake. Of course he wouldn't make it in time to catch the plane coming home... that would have been too simple. They are hoping to rent a car and drive the three hours home rather than wait till tomorrow and fly home then. The kids have sensed my stress, and like the animals that they sometimes can be (okay... just joking there) they sniffed out my weakness and pounced when I wasn't looking! I felt like I have been walking in circles. I get one thing done and turn around and two other things are undone. I realize that it really shouldn't matter if the house is spotless or not, after all, it's only Garrett coming home. It's not like we will be having visiting royalty or something... it's just Garrett!!! And really, when the 100 or so people come through the house Sunday after church for lunch, will they really care if my laundry room is no longer clean? Well... if they do I guess they aren't really good friends now are they?! But that doesn't matter. You see, I could have lived my life being an obsessive/compulsive shut in with my hangers all hanging one directions and the shirts facing the right way, drawers neat, socks matched perfectly with no holes in any of them, everything in it's place, not a picture hanging crooked. But NO! I chose to have 15 children and a husband instead. And I love them, I really do. And there are days that I purposely leave the picture hanging crooked just to prove to myself that life will go on. But then there are just moments, circumstances that stress me out and I have that insane desire for everything to be perfect! I notice the spots on the wall that were missed while they were touching up the paint. I can't help but notice like a blaring neon sign that it has been a YEAR since the tile project was started and STILL the trim is not done! And will I ever get new carpet? And most of all... what is Garrett going to sleep on? He has no bed. Darn those boys and what were they thinking when they shot up over 6 ft tall. Why can't you just curl up on your side and sleep in the old bunk beds that worked just fine a few years ago? We have to get a bed. We need to do a lot of things. But he was eating $100 meals and I made the old stand by... spaghetti. He suffered in a quiet $350/night hotel room. I didn't get to bed until 2am trying to catch up on laundry. He says it's rough on him being away from us. In truth, I know it is. But that doesn't make me feel better when I have told the kids 100 times in that many minutes that it really is time to go to bed! It's been one of those weeks. The baby has been fussy, kids have been busy and just when I get on a roll I have to stop and pump! I can't win!

But tomorrow (well, okay, in a fewe minutes it will be midnight) I will have my husband home, my oldest son home, and for the first time ever, all 17 of us will be under the same roof, if only it lasts for a moment. And I will be so glad to know that I chose a life of chaos over a life of peace and quiet in my little OCD world. I will celebrate Tanner turning 18, and Kassi turning 14, and I will know that this is my life, and I do enjoy it, and I will hold onto the memories and keep them dear to my heart because I know that it is only a short time that it will be like this before everyone starts flying away and building their own lives. And that's exactly what I hope for them!