If I start crying...

I think if I let the tears start flowing
they may not end.
My sweet daughter is losing her baby.

And right now I am not there to hold her,

and cry with her and tell her it is going to be okay.

Even though I know it isn't going to be okay right now.

That is a pain that just doesn't go away.

And for a long time after she will go on like her heart isn't breaking...

but I will know it is.

This sweet girl,

who has dreamed of this baby

for as long as she can remember.

She joins that club, that nobody ever wants to be part of.

It is still so fresh in my heart...

and now I not only cry for my own baby girl,

but for the baby she wanted

and the baby I wanted...

the grandbaby I wanted to hold,

and spoil and love!

Kimi, I will be there soon...

and we will cry together for the loss of our dream.

And I will pray everyday for understanding...

because our heart never really mends.

And I will pray even harder that you get this dream

very soon.

I love you more than you can know right now.

I hurt for you,

that you have to feel this pain.

And I pray that you let it wash through you,

and grow from it and that you will come through this

even more compassionate, and more understanding

than you are right now.