Grandbaby #4

We got to go with Caitlyn and Jace to the big gender reveal ultrasound on Friday...  This baby was moving all around and waving and the very best news is that we found out we are having our first GRANDDAUGHTER!!!!! 

YES!!!  A baby girl to make bows for!!!  I can't wait.  I don't think I have stopped smiling since we found out!!!   It was the greatest news!!!  And of course she is beautiful already... all 5 inches and less than a pound of her, and she is already loved so much!!!!

No names yet... but Cait already bought her some cute outfits and I look forward to making all of the bows to match!!!!

Little man is one ~ July 9, 2012

I can't believe a year has flown by...
A YEAR!!!
Amazing!!!
Noah is a joy to us.
He is strong willed and determined.
He makes us laugh every single day!
I still can't believe we have him after all we went through...
I can't believe how amazing he is,
and how he worked his way right into our family,
into our hearts...
and none of us could imagine life without him!

I think it has taken me almost this entire year to come to peace
with the traumatic experience of his birth.
For many months I couldn't even talk about it except to a few people.
I spent many months trying to deal with emotions
that I couldn't even explain myself.
There were some really dark emotional days.
But through them all,
I couldn't look at little man without thanking
Heavenly Father for the gift and treasure that he is! 
I also thank Him for the protection He provided and the miracles given
during and right after Noah's birth.
I am not sure I would have asked for things to work out the way they did,
But I know they worked out the way they were supposed to!

Happy Birthday Noah Grant!!! 
It is interesting to know that Noah means
comfort, rest, peace.

Grant... bestow or great.

He is all of those things.
He is amazing!!!
Our lives have been blessed because of his birth,
we have witnessed miracles.
He is my precious rainbow baby...
He came after so much pain and loss
and has given us so much joy!

At the Park July 6th, 2012

Spent a fun afternoon in the park while Kimi and Matt were here...
So fun watching the grandbabies, and my little man play!
I wish Jared lived close enough that I could take him to the park more often!

Just us...

I realized that for 26 years of marriage, Thayne and I do not have a lot of pictures TOGETHER... mostly because I am the one taking the pictures I suppose.  And that I HATE pictures of myself!  So, we are trying to fix this little problem and actually take pictures of 'us' once in a while! 

I love this man... he is everything to our family and we couldn't be more blessed to have him as ours!  I love the life we created together.  I am usually in awe of the man that he is... he is so good to us.  We are his world and it shows in his actions.  Even though he thinks he has a hard time showing emotion, there isn't one of us that have to wonder!  I remember the first time I saw him, and now, looking at where we are, and how far we have come, it is amazing!  I told him on our first date I wanted a dozen kids.  The more I knew HIM, the more I knew that life just wouldn't be complete without having a family with him.  He didn't bat an eye when I told him about my crazy desire to have a mega sized family.  Which would have won me over if I hadn't already been... but here we are, 26 years later, with 16 amazing kids, and going on our 4th grandchild!!!  We are GRANDPARENTS!!!  This boy that I fell in love with, is now one of the most amazing men I have ever known.  I look in the mirror and realize that I look older, much older... but when I look at him, I only see that boy.  The one that made my heart skip a beat then, and still does!  I see him the way he looked when he told me he loved me for the first time.  I look at him and see our beginning, while enjoying the crazy middle we seem to be at right now!  I love him.  He makes me laugh, he makes the crazy life we have created all worth it!  There is nobody in the world I would rather be with!  He is like breathing... we laugh that we don't know where one ends and the other begins.  But that is just the way we always wanted it to be!!!

The Museum

We decided to hit the museum while Kimi and Matt were still in town.  The little kids loved the animals and we had a good time.  It was fun watching the kids and fun having all of our grandbabies with us!  I feel so blessed to have all of these amazing people in my life!  They are simply THE BEST!!!!

The Basque Festival

When we first moved out here, we were very disappointed that the town had no 4th of July celebration... it was depressing and we swore we would not stay in town for the 4th again after the first year!  Because, well... it's the 4th of July people!!!  We celebrate our country... our freedom, it's our Nation's BIRTHDAY for crying out loud!!!  But they only seemed to celebrate the Basque here!  And believe me, I am not complaining about the Basque, because quite frankly it is my favorite place to eat here... and it is always a special treat to hit the Basque restaurants!  It's just that I grew up celebrating our Nation on the 4th of July!

Through the years enough people missed celebrating the 4th around here that there are now celebrations outside of town for the 4th of July... but they still have the Basque Festival.  It's the big celebration IN town... and they have it on the weekend so we mostly get to go celebrate the REAL 4th and then come back to town and hit the parade here!  The kids love any excuse for a parade... and it gives us something to look forward to when we get home!

This year Kimi and Matt (and of course JARED!!!) stayed through the weekend and we got to spend another fun day hanging out together... kids got lots of candy and anytime the family is together, it's a great thing for mom!!!  Happy Basque Day, or something!!!

10 days

These last few days of Tallin's mission have been eye opening to me...

My heart is a little sad, and I didn't expect to feel like this.

I am excited to see my son again... so excited!

Yet my heart is breaking for him, knowing the heaviness of his heart right now

Because he will be leaving a land that has become part of him.

I have sat in the background, miles and miles and miles away from him,

and watched him become a great man of God.

I have watched him learn to lose himself in service and gain a testimony of the Savior

in a way that never would have happened any other way!

I see him ache to leave because he is seeing the great work roll forward,

and he has been a part of that work!

I feel it in his letters...

I feel it in my heart!

I know that he loves us, and even misses us.

But I know, and understand his love of serving the Lord.  I know he loves the people he is serving.

I know that he has found himself,

Because he first, LOST himself!

He has learned that when you serve others, you are really serving the Lord.

A recent conversation with friends made me realize something else about him.

He has turned his life over to Heavenly Father... with no concern for his own fears.

We were talking about how Tallin dislikes water. 

My friend's son said he remembers being at the Rez and how Tallin just did not want to be in the water...

He told me how bad Tallin disliked it.

Yet, my son regularly gets on small boats and has bumpy plane rides...

on an angry ocean that has no care that my son dislikes water!

I asked him how he overcame that.

He told me that since he came on his mission it has not been hard to get on boats or go across...

He said that there have been times when it was scary crossing,

But since his mission anytime he has to get on a boat or plane,

It feels like he is just getting on a normal vehicle and he has a sense of peace.

I have felt that way FOR him.

His "Other Side of Heaven" stories do not scare me.

(for anyone who doesn't know, it is the true story of John Groberg serving a remote mission in Tonga)

Because I have always felt peace.

I have had an absolute sureness of his safety and that he is where he is supposed to be!

He told me not long ago to not watch the show anytime soon because he had had one of those experiences on a boat.

I told him to tell me about it, that I really wasn't going to be freaked out...

This is his story... and after all, the thing that matters most is that he ended up getting to the ceremony only a little worse for the wear!

Well we got on the fifteen foot fiber because we had to get ...

across and that was the only way. At first it was fine just a normal boat ride on the ocean. But as we came around into the open water the waves were huge. They were rolling higher than we were. It was throwing the boat across the water and flipping us side to side. I almost fell out over four times in the first ten or fifteen minutes. The one time we went over a wave I came up off the boat in the air as the boat cracked back down on the water and I was well over the side of the boat and some how smashed back down INSIDE of the boat. And that kept happening the entire way. It was a nightmare! I was praying that I would not go overboard because if I did I would have been a goner! I can hardly swim in a pool, there is no way I can swim let alone stay afloat in rough open water! ha Well, mom, my back was black and blue and from the constant slamming down in the boat it peeled off the skin on my bottom. I had to dispose of those  undergarments. It was all bloody. My back is still slightly bruised. But it could have been worse! And we still got to be there for the Ceremony!

I love this boy!!!

  Oh how my heart is swelling with the joy only a mom can feel
when she sees her children walking in the ways of the Lord!
One of my favorite scriptures is
3 John 1:4
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.My heart is so full I can barely contain it to think of the ways he is walking in truth at this time...
He has experienced floods, mudslides, extreme weather,
illness from food that is not necessarily appealing...
He has faced his fears, experienced the angry sea...
He has dealt with the disobedience of others and stood strong himself.
He has been an example, and he has learned to love the people he is serving!

I can't help myself...
I cry like a baby every time I listen to this song and think of what Tallin is going through right now...
It's called

The Hardest Thing I've Ever Loved To Do

The hardest thing I ever loved to do
Was letting go of everything I ever knew
Nineteen years of dreams left in my room
As I buttoned up the jacket of my suit
The hardest word I've ever loved to say
Was goodbye to my mom and walk away
Choking on my tie and on my tears
As I walked down the hall into those years.
The sweetest song I've ever loved to sing
Filled the MTC on angels' wings
The chorus filled my soul five thousand strong
And I wished it would just go on and on
The firmest hand I've ever loved to shake
Was my trainer's with that big grin on his face
He grabbed my bag and put his arm 'round me
And whispered
I'm gonna work those Mr Macs right off your feet!
The hardest words I've ever anguished for
Came just before some lady slammed her door
My trainer left me hanging out to dry
As a minute of painful silence rolled right by
But the hardest tears I ever loved to cry
Fell as I opened up my mouth and testified
Between the tiny walls of a stranger's living room
The Spirit told their hearts my words were true
The most wonderful sound I've ever heard
Is the sound of water running in the church
As someone I'd come to love got dressed in white
My eyes saw their first glimpse of Heaven's light.
The hardest thing I've ever come to see
Is a man down on his knees in agony
A drop of blood falls down on olive leaves
And for a moment He suffers there for me
The hardest thing I've ever loved to do
Was getting on this plane and coming home to you
In a million ways completely torn apart
As a land so far away still owns my heart
In the most sincere prayer I've ever prayed
I thank my God for each and every day
For the blessing of the man I've come to be
As I walk up and kiss my mama's cheek

I cannot wait to see him, to hug him, to get to know him as the man who has given his life to the Savior...
At education week I heard a phrase that has stuck with me,
it hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard the teacher say it is always interesting to see how quickly family and friends DISASSEMBLE a return missionary.
I do not EVER want to see this return missionary be disassembled! 
EVER!!!

I love you Tallin...
Thank you for what you have done these past two years.
Thank you for understanding who you are, and what you are supposed to do!

The one?!

When Tallin was set apart as a missionary he was told in the blessing that he was being sent to the place where he would find one that he was was supposed to share the gospel with... I asked him Sunday if he felt like he had found that person...I love his reply...

"I am not sure if I found the one I needed to but I am sure that I did help move the Kingdom of God even if it was only a little."

It hit me that this is how we all should be... and how we all should try to act... it doesn't matter that we aren't doing great things... just moving the Kingdom of God a little is good enough!

Sometimes...

Sometimes I post an old post that I had saved and it posts on that date...so sometimes, if you are interested in reading... scroll down because they don't always post in order! :)

The Rez on the 4th of July

Just some random pictures of the kids on the 4th of July at the Rez...  The reservoir holds lots of memories that make me smile!  It was where I learned to water ski, with my uncle Willie and his best friend Steve, who happened to be Thayne's cousin.  Both of them are gone now, but those memories are so fun to look back on!  Best of all is that this is where Thayne told me he loved me, on our first date, and that he wanted to marry me!   Could it be anymore special than that????   The kids had a great time playing in the water and being buried in the sand!!!!