To my daughters... my thoughts on womanhood

I have been thinking about something for several weeks and have felt strongly that I need to share it with my kids, especially my daughters. I am not sure why I feel so strongly about it, but the more I have felt it, the more I have seen discussions online about it and I want to share with my children my feelings on womanhood, and motherhood, and the testimony I have of both. I can only express what I believe, and that it comes from my deep belief in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that it is true. So my beliefs are different than what the world seems to believe, but I cannot deny what I know to be true.

For some reason, it seems that many women struggle with being a woman. They seem to think, that in the church women are looked down on, are less than, because men hold the priesthood. I cannot understand this thinking AT ALL. It doesn't make sense, knowing what I know and believe about the Priesthood and about how Heavenly Father designed each of us. Being a woman is amazing, a gift, and it was not what was left over after Heavenly Father gave His sons the Priesthood! I hear so many women talk about the husband being the 'ruler' in the home... but I have found nothing in the gospel that suggests that men in any way rule over women. On the contrary, it is the exact opposite, as far as what the world refers to the meaning of 'rule'. After hearing women complain about their fear that women are less than men, I have studied and read everything I can get my hands on in regards to what 'rule' or 'helpmeet' means. The only conclusion I can come to is that the meaning of the words have been changed (and yes I can back this up by words of our prophets and others, most especially the Lord). Today, helpmeet seems to indicate a person of lesser stature, a subject or a subordinate. Which couldn't be further from the truth. In reality the meaning(s) mean "Even with or equal to", or the original meaning seems to suggest "to rescue", "to save", or "to be strong" or that Eve (woman) was created to be "a power (or strength) equal to him. Howard W. Hunter taught that "The Lord intended that the wife be a helpmeet for man (meet means equal) - that is, a companion equal and necessary in partnership."

We are equal. Not the same, but equal. Women complete men... men complete women. Two different parts to a puzzle. Two necessary parts to be exalted. What a wonderful and amazing idea... that man, and woman complete each other. Necessary to accomplish Heavenly Father's plan here on earth. I hope that I have lived my life in a way that each of you know that I am not afraid of how the world looks at womanhood, and motherhood. It is not something to be looked down upon. It is not something to dread, or despise, or wish away. There is nothing more noble than being a mother to children. But it isn't even about being a mother. If I had never given birth, I know that women are given that 'mothering' instinct for a reason. The Proclamation to the World explains what we believe. That the role of men and women are different. It is no surprise that the voices of the world scream that gender roles are unfair. I have taught you this for years... that there are 3 things that Satan will never have, he will never have a body, he will never be married, and he will never have children. Those three things are the reason we are here, the purpose of mortal life. So of course he will stir the pot and make gender roles something to be looked down on. It has gone so far now that we are criticized if we stand up for the Lord's truth, called prejudice, or not so enlightened. There is a reason the Lord has said that the father should be the provider and the mother the nurturer. That isn't a bad thing. I have seen my kids come in the house and look to see where I am... it's interesting to see that even now, Gabe comes into the house and yells, "Grandma, I'm here!" That tells me something. Everyone wants to be loved, and accepted and everyone wants to know that someone cares that they are 'here'. Don't ever be afraid to cherish and love the role you were given. Our Heavenly Father has told us that gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose. So rejoice in it. There is a reason that we are created the way we are, there is a real reason why the Lord has asked for mother's to be in the home... I know there are times that it isn't possible for the mother to be a stay at home mom. But I promise that it is worth the sacrifice. We knew going into our marriage that this was what we wanted to do, needed to do, and were supposed to do. We knew the sacrifices that would have to be made. We knew that it would mean putting some worldly things aside. It is worth it! If at all possible, it is absolutely worth it!

I love seeing my daughters grow to be strong, and not afraid to take on the world. I love that they aren't afraid to speak their mind, and aren't intimidated because they are women. I am grateful for my dad who taught that women were born on pedestals, and never understood why they wanted to step down, and become like men. He taught that women are born with all that is necessary to be able to go to the temple. It doesn't matter if a woman can physically give birth... she was still born with the gift of being a mother... giving life to all that she comes in contract with. He taught that men must become, and remain worthy to hold the priesthood. Not because he is 'less' or 'more' but that he was sent here with different talents, and different responsibilities and receiving and honoring the Priesthood makes him be kinder, gentler and better! Men who honor the Priesthood become great men because of it! If a man thinks that because he holds the priesthood, and as the man, he is someone more than a woman, he is wrong!!! Good men will preside over his family in love, kindness and respect... preside... President Kimball questioned the word rule because of how the world has used it. NOTHING about the Priesthood is selfish. A man cannot ever use the Priesthood for selfish reasons. Everything about the Priesthood is about service, and kindness. The Lord has even, in modern revelation explained that as soon as a man uses his position to cover sins, gratify pride or vain ambition, to exercise control or dominion or compulsion, in any degree of unrighteousness, the heavens withdraw themselves, the Spirit of the Lord is grieved, and when it is gone, Amen to the Priesthood or the authority of that man. What a scary thought... what a sobering thought. Any man who is given this authority must guard against using it unrighteously. However, I feel that it is important to find humility in everything... including being 'led' by mortal men. I have heard women complain that Church leaders somehow misused their authority and they claim that is the reason they left the Church. Do not ever be so proud that you cannot take criticism (whether it is correct or not) or advise. Think about when we watched 17 Miracles. Levi Savage was concerned about leaving so late in the season. His worries and concerns were valid. He was criticized publicly for stating his concerns. He had every reason to leave. He chose to stay. He didn't care about anything but being right with the Lord. We are living the gospel where mortal men and women are in charge. I remember struggling at one point after having my 5th baby in 4 years. Your dad worked swing shift, 2pm to 2am at least 5 days a week, and I was in a small apartment alone, putting the kids to bed, taking care of their needs, struggling with an empty cup so to speak. I was overwhelmed and tired and needed something to fill my own cup. I remember praying specifically for a calling in church that would help do that... something to make me stretch beyond what I was doing and fill my empty cup. Through a lot of prayer I soon felt strongly that I would be getting a specific calling. I was excited about it, but weeks went by and nothing. Then we had an opportunity to spend some time talking with our bishop. Through the conversation he said that someone had asked for me in a calling, but he knew that having 5 small children was just too much and to ask me to do more would not be right. That is when I told him what the calling was... and why I knew. That the Lord knew me very well, far better than he did, and that He knew what I needed the most. That day I saw a very humble man say that he had made a mistake thinking he knew more than the Lord did, and that he would learn that lesson well. I enjoyed that calling for the remainder of the time we lived there and I learned something too... we are all human! And the Lord sees us with His eternal perspective... not what we think we know about someone. We should be humble, we should be willing to forgive when others make mistakes and we should be willing to let ourselves be stretched and grow to become what Heavenly Father wants us to be!

I want you to know that I know that women are precious to our Heavenly Father. Man = male AND female together. You are precious daughters of our Heavenly Father. You were sent here for a reason, for a purpose so great that you can't possibly understand it right now. But you will!!! You have the ability to lift others in ways that I can't even begin to explain to you. When you are happy, those around you will be happy also. You each have the gift of reaching out a hand and lifting another higher than they are, and even higher than some believe they can be. You are strong, your courage amazes me. Do not ever be afraid of following the commandments exactly. Don't be afraid to share your testimony by word, and by action. Don't ever believe that you are smarter than God. True knowledge comes through the gift of the Holy Ghost. You are not enlightened when you turn your mind away from the Lord and from the gospel. You are free only when you live your life the way Heavenly Father expects you to live. You have the ability to influence generations. You are amazing. I love each of you and am so grateful to be taught by you. I love when we joke to never underestimate the power of a woman... but it is no joke. You are life... you are givers of life. Don't ever, ever take that for granted!!!