I never knew how much love a heart could hold, until they called me mom

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Egg



Time to decorate Easter Eggs at school.

Except.... well, eggs are white!

Everyone knows that!

Nate didn't want to color INSIDE of the egg

because eggs are WHITE!

That could be part of the obsessive/compulsive problem we have!!!

They were able to convince him that a little color

inside the egg was okay.

But really...

it wasn't to him!

He informed me when he showed me

that they wanted him to color the egg...

But EGGS ARE WHITE!

Awww...

he makes me smile!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Homesick...

It's funny that even as an adult,

sometimes you just feel a need

to be with your parents.

I had been feeling that way...

wanting to visit them

for the last week or so.

And I needed to pick up something from them anyway,

so Thayne told me I should just run over

and see them.

So I did!

It was just a quick, overnight trip.

But it was so fun to see them.

Fun to have lunch with my mom,

and talk to them for a while.

And then I headed home in the pouring rain.

But it was worth it...

a quick little run away trip

and a chance to say,

"I love you"

to

my mom and dad!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Why do they grow up so fast????

Today was spring pictures for the younger kids.

And as I curled Kami's hair and listened to her talk to me

like she is one of the teenagers,

I wanted to cry!

When did she grow up??? Why did it happen so fast?

This is the little girl I dreamed about years before we had her.

I heard her name over and over in my mind.

I saw her eyes in my dreams!

Her beautiful eyes!

I still see her as that precious, tiny little girl

they handed to me as they wheeled me out of the

operating room.

She was so perfect.

Everything I had dreamed of...

and now...

she is so grown up that I wanted to have a snap shot

of this moment...

when she is not too big,

but no longer very small!

Love you Kami Dene!


For my girls...

Here you go Kailee, Kassi and Kinzee...

These are for you!

You took them...

you wanted them out there

so here they are!


Did I mention how much they make me laugh.

They are amazing and I love being in the same room with them,

even if they are insisting that I pose for some horrible pictures!

They are determined to document this baby's life

even before he gets here!


So here I am...

in all my pregnant glory!

Laughing at my silly girls

who make life just a little more wonderful!

Love you silly girls.

Thanks for making my day!



Monday, April 11, 2011

Thanks Deb!!!

Friends are awesome!

Especially friends who out of the blue

know you had a bad week

and do something special

to make you smile!

This is what Deb sent to me last week...

just letting me know that somebody was thinking about me

and wanted me to know!

She didn't know that I had dealt with sick kids,

and was sick myself,

and it was spring break

and snowing, and raining, and blizzards

and I just felt...

well, I just felt bad!

But she made me smile!

It's great to have people like this in your life!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Happy Birthday Hayden!

I can't believe that 11 years ago on April 7th

we were frantically preparing to make an unexpected trip

4 1/2 hours away to have our sweet Hayden!

Just 2 days before an amnio said he wasn't ready to be born

so we rescheduled the c-section for the following week.

Only to go into labor!

I called the doctor and they told me to get over there.

Except I had to pack,

and clean a little,

and get kids prepared.

When I finally walked into the hospital

the nurses asked where I had been.

And that they had been calling hospitals from here to there

trying to figure out where I was.

Oops!

I didn't know they were waiting like that!

I told them that moving a small nation across the desert

is not easy!

Dr. S was the only doctor on call that night and I remember the OR phone

ringing over and over.

He finally asked the nurse if anyone is dying.

They said no.

So he told them to not call back unless someone was dying!

I loved holding that little man.

I loved looking into his eyes and wondering at the man he would be.

It was only 2 weeks after Wyatt was born that we were coming home from Utah

and I was reading some family history that Thayne's family had given us.

Suddenly I felt this feeling come over me,

and I knew Hayden.

I knew his name.

I looked at Thayne and told him we had another son,

and his name was Hayden Robert.

Thayne just said,

"I know."

And a year and a half later

he was born!!!

He has the most giving heart.

He is so compassionate.

He is the boy who never goes to bed without kissing us good night

and telling us he loves us.

He is perfectly content to sit next to you and hold your hand.

He has a fierce sense of right and wrong

and wants to protect the underdog.

He is smart.

So very smart!

He loves facts.

He loves to read.

And he remembers everything he does read!

There is no doubt in my mind that he was created,

before the world was...

to be our son!


I love you Hayden Robert.

Thank you for all that you add to our family.

Thank you for the opportunity you have given me to be your mom

and to learn from you.

You are a gift to us,

a blessing that I will forever be grateful for!




Friday, April 8, 2011

Our little contortionist


I asked the ultrasound tech for a copy of this picture

because it made us smile to see his legs folded over his body like this!

Thayne and I ran over last night because my appointment

was first thing this morning to see my OB and for our follow up ultrasound.

I was excited to talk to my OB

and even more excited to see our sweet baby boy again!

He looks awesome and is still perfect size wise!

He is sideways, folded up as you can see!

I love seeing him.

I think when I grow up I want to be an ultrasound tech!

My doctor said that she is willing to do the steroid shots

and that the perinatologist recommended that we deliver

at 36 weeks.

She said in the letter they sent her that it said that I told them

I prefered 37 weeks and she laughed

saying that she could hear me saying that!

She said we will compromise and do 36 and some days...

so it looks like we may be having this little guy around his dad's birthday

instead!

I feel better about it knowing we will do the steroid shots.

I love my doctor.

She teased me that not many people think I am normal,

but she is happy to tell me that I don't freak her out at all.

I told her that it is because I totally trust that if she feels something is up

she will act on it.

She did before,

and I know she will again.

I understand that there are risks,

and I know that we have to deal realistically with the risk of an 11th c-section,

but I also know that this baby is a gift, and his life is meant to be

and I trust that everything will be just as it should be.

We can only do all in our power,

and then we have to trust in a power higher than our own.

I trust that I have done all I can and will continue to do all I can

to protect this baby...

and I cannot wait to hold him!

I cannot wait to see that sweet face that looks so familiar already

in the ultrasound.

He is definitely one of ours!

Amazing how I can love this baby so much already.

And I love seeing the reaction of the kids when I showed them

the ultrasound picture.

This baby is already so loved and so cherished,

but he will probably wish he wasn't so hugged

when he finally gets here!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Finally turned the corner....

It has been a long few days. Friday Nate started throwing up. I figured he had some bug going around since there are a LOT of weird bugs going around these days. Saturday he got up to eat and threw up again and was crying that his throat hurt. Since his tonsils are huge and since Kassi and Kinzee were treated for strep at the beginning of the week, and since it was a Saturday, I jumped in the shower and got ready to take him to the clinic. Thankfully we got right in and got him right on meds for strep. The dr said there is some really strange strain of strep going around our area. We need to get his tonsils out so bad. Like the other kids, it looks like he has swollen glands all of the time, and seems to carry strep. When the other kids got their tonsils out there were pus pockets underneath the tonsils and honestly very rarely get sick after getting them out. The problem with Nate is just, well, he's Nate. Nothing goes as it should with Nate and the thought of getting his tonsils out scares us so bad! Thayne had to fly to Arizona for work on Sunday and of course Nate gets sicker instead of better. And then Hyrum, and then I got sick too. We spent the entire day in bed yesterday. I was so scared we would end up in the hospital with Nate because the dr said if he didn't stop throwing up by Monday we needed to get him to the hospital for IV meds. I was worried about taking him in simply because of the exposure to all of the other stuff going on. There have actually been several deaths around here recently from strep pneumonia and I don't want to go there again!!! He has been on phenergan for the nausea and it looked like he was going to finally keep something down. That lasted a couple of hours and then he started throwing up again. Finally at midnight he wanted something and I gave him toast and a sports drink. He kept it down and woke up a couple of more times through the night for food and today he has kept it all down! I feel like I have joined the land of the living again also. So I guess we have turned the corner and are on the mend! Just in time for Thayne to come home!!! He always misses out on the fun! Poor Nate though... we worked so hard to get him to 30 lbs. It was a goal, we worked so hard at it and everyday he steps on the scale to let me see how much he weighs! We cheered when he finally got there. 30lbs 2oz... and then he dropped down to 28lbs 2oz... and then 27lbs fully dressed! Well, here we go again. Guess it's back to extra meals and Pediasure! We can do it. I am still waiting for him to grow out of the 'scare his mom half to death' stage!!!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Just because...

I love when Thayne brings home flowers

Just Because!

He asked if I needed him to grab anything on his way home from work

so I gave him the list.

These weren't on it...

but they were definitely the most appreciated!

They opened up to be huge, beautiful roses.

I love roses.

Of every color.

He bought them just because...

to say he loves me!

There are a million reasons why I love him so much.

This is one of the many reasons!

Thanks Thayne!

I love the way you love me!



Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Nesting??? So Soon???

Is it alright to blame this terrible need on the pregnancy?

I can't stand it anymore...

and until it's finished I may lose my mind!

My basement!!!

It's been partially finished,

almost finished,

close to being finished.

But it's never actually BEEN finished.

And I can't stand it anymore!

The bedrooms had started looking like a bunch of pack rats

live here.

Oh wait...

aren't those my children?

How does it get so out of control?

We needed new floors too.

So we decided to do laminate flooring.

Even in the bedrooms.

Is it bad to say that throw rugs are better than carpet

when there are almost a dozen kids living down there?

Well... it's true!

I said we live in the hicks!

Sweeping and mopping is so much better than ruined carpet!

And painting!

I have a love/hate relationship with our wood stove.

It saves us thousands every winter.

Did I mention it saves us THOUSANDS of dollars every winter.

But the ick from it almost makes me want to use propane next year!

Tonight I have 2 bedrooms organized...

gutted out... ew, I feel like a hoarder!

No, I take that back, I feel like I gave birth to hoarders!

But no more!!!

They are now organized,

cleaned,

new bedding,

a real floor...

only thing left is painting the trim,

closet doors and tv's on the wall.

Yes, a tv!

Not with cable...

but it so cuts down on the bickering when they all can turn on a movie

or play their Wii's or X box or whatever other gaming system

happens to be in this house!

The tv's are going on their walls.

We are cleaning out the closet under the stairs so Hayden and Hyrum

have their very own little place for all of their stuff they have built

that nobody is allowed to touch but them!

The 2 girls' rooms are next.

It's rough...

Kailee took 6 or so bags of clothes out for storage and several more to donate.

They will not like me before I am done.

But it will be organized, cleaned and have a spot for everything.

It will feel SO good!

Did I mention that the best thing for curing OCD is a dozen plus kids?

Only sometimes it doesn't work.

Sometimes I lose my mind and everything has to be done the way "I" want it done!

I blame it on nesting.

I can blame it on hormones and the kids are much more understanding!

If I went crazy like this and I wasn't pregnant they would think I was just crazy!

Now they even feel bad for me and make me sit down

and they offer to help move things.

Shhhhh...

Don't tell them I am really just a freak.

They don't need to know that yet.

They will figure it out soon enough!