Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes no!

We asked for 2 miracles today. We got one... that's pretty good. Yesterday during general conference there was an amazing talk that said, "Never let an earthly circumstance disable you spiritually." I realized that we have had a whole lot of earthly circumstances that have encouraged us to turn to the Lord and to tell Him, "Thy will be done" even when it hurt us to say it. Last week things looked scary and we all felt that we could be dealing with something very serious with Kailee... there were a whole lot of prayers and a couple of beautiful Priesthood blessings. Today we got to the doctor's office and I felt like I wanted to throw up. I asked Thayne if he would say a prayer before we walked in and he did. I went into the bathroom and prayed again and instantly I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and that we would see our miracle with her. It has been interesting to see Kailee during this time. She said that no matter what she knew that she would walk through it and be fine. I know that she meant exactly that... whether the answer was that she would be fine, or if she wasn't. Her faith is amazing. But I saw in my mind a wonderful miracle. We also have the sweetest pediatrician who rushed the tests through and called us immediately with the results. And after all of this... the results are that this sweet, precious, beautiful girl is completely healthy! It's weird... the bruises literally disappeared, even though they lasted weeks before. Everything we worried about was better and there was no sign of anything wrong! I know you could call it a coincidence, but we know better... we know the miracle that took place and we are grateful that this time, the answer was yes!

I wish it would have been for everything... we were so excited with the knowledge that #16 was on it's way. A few days ago I started spotting. It's not getting worse, but it is just there... so today we finally got to the ER... after waiting forever, we had blood work done, an ultrasound and some other tests. The doctor is trying to tell me that I am just not as far along as I know I am and said that I need to come back in 2 days for more blood work... that everything looks perfect for a 5 1/2 week pregnancy... even though I know that is impossible. I hate that he didn't listen to me... that he didn't hear what I know... that I KNOW it isn't possible. Why give false hope. I didn't lose a month... I am losing this baby! I feel heart broken, sad, and yet, I have felt the comfort that only the Savior can give me... I know that there are some that think it is their right to judge our lives, and feel they know what we should or shouldn't do... but I know that we have always tried to live our lives the way the Lord would have us... and I know that we are where we are supposed to be with the Lord. And that there is something to be learned even in this!

So today we got one yes answer, and one no... and I am okay with trusting that for whatever reason the Lord is guiding our lives and teaching us to trust Him even when the answer is no. We are so blessed... I am so blessed to be the mother of these children that are so kind, so good... with hearts of gold. I have the most amazing husband who carries my burdens with me, and who has blessed the lives of our family in ways I cannot even begin to put into words. His heart is so pure, and his goodness is beyond measure... he is a man with faults and fears, yet he has a humility that always allows him to grow. I have a Heavenly Father that shows His love for us in so many ways, everyday. So while I may mourn that the answer was no right now... I will trust that no experience is wasted, and that I will stand firm in the knowledge that I will not allow any earthly circumstance disable this family spiritually. They will see us standing firmly planted in the knowledge that Heavenly Father has a perfect plan for our lives and is in control when we allow Him to guide us! And I am so thankful for so many friends that prayed for us... for those that brought this miracle into being. Thank you!