The Gummy Bear

Remember that fortune cookie...

The reason it meant so much is because we felt like our

dearest dream is truly coming true.

We had been holding our breath and hoping,

and wondering and sometimes even fearing

that it really wasn't going to happen.

Because in the past couple of years,

that dream didn't seem to be something that would happen again.

And while I don't really put my faith in fortunes,

or fortune cookies...

this one was kind of interesting

because we stopped to grab some food and Thayne said

to grab about 20 cookies too.

He randomly pulled one cookie out of the sack

and handed it to me.

I had seen everyone open their cookies

and they were just the silly, run of the mill, everyday

fortunes.

But I opened mine,

and held it out for Thayne to see.

And he smiled at me.

And I taped it on the fridge!

And it still makes me smile.

Because....

Tuesday we went to my doctor,

to see if that dearest dream was really going to happen.

And there it was...

that little Gummy Bear,

waving back at us.

A beautiful little heart beating.

I wasn't quite as scared as the other times in the past 2 years,

because I had heard little Gummy on Sunday night.

And so...

we sent a text to all of our kids.

And again, it never ceases to amaze me

of their love and joy at the idea of adding a sibling!

I love this family!

I love my daughters in law...

who find just as much joy in this miracle as the other kids!

They make it so worth it!!!

Cheers all around!!!

We are happy!!!

We are relieved...

We feel very blessed for this opportunity!

I am sick.

But I am thrilled to be sick!

This baby means so much to us.

Someone made a comment about my miscarriages, that

at least I had other kids.

And blew it off like it hurt less because

I already had kids.

I wonder where that idea comes from.

To me,

It hurt so much worse BECAUSE

I have kids!

I know the joy of life,

the joy of feeling that life moving within me.

I guess that is one of those things

you should never say to someone who has lost a child.

Don't make one loss less than another.

And I am not going to not rejoice over this child

because somebody might feel that I have enough...

We are not competing with anyone over anything,

we are not trying to fix something or fill something or whatever else

people think they need to know.

We adore our children!

We love what they bring to our life!

We have welcomed life

without question and without doubt

because we know that this is what we are supposed to do

for our family!

And when I see the joy that our kids feel

because of this choice.

I LOVE that they can't wait to shout it from the rooftops!

I got a text from Kassi asking,

"Can I PLEASE tell my class?"

Kami was dragging her feet Wednesday about going to school.

Kalli told her,

"If you don't hurry you will miss telling your teacher!"

And that got her up and out the door with a

smile on her face!

We are happy...

no, we are THRILLED!

I was shaking when my doctor started the ultrasound.

And then she laughed!

And asked if I saw it moving around.

Then that beautiful, tiny little heart was beating...

and I cried!

Thayne said he didn't have to see the screen to know what was going on,

that all he had to do was look at my face!

At this point the cute baby looks just like a Gummy Bear...

when I look at the miracle growing inside

it makes me feel even more that life is truly a miracle!

And every morning I hear the little heart beating

and I say a prayer of thanks that

we get to witness the miracle one more time!

Welcome little one...

you are already loved,

already so wanted

and already so adored!