Weird... just.... weird!

Kami is just weird! Really, the girl has us in stitches so often it's not even funny. She makes funny faces too. I have the funniest pictures of her and Jace, and of her and Caitlyn. Where did this strange gene come from? I'm pretty sure I am not weird! ;) Maybe it's Thayne. In fact, let's just go with that! Yep, she's Thayne's kid! My dad always asks when I am going to have my kids, since I told him MY kids would be perfect! I told him I am having Thayne's kids right now.... we all know HIS kids aren't perfect! And when I have MY kids he'll know, because they will be perfect! I am running out of options here. Maybe I am not meant to have kids! :) Nate is as close to perfect as you can get. Well, unless you count the two times he has turned my life completely upside down and had to be life flighted and spend a couple of weeks in the hospital fighting for his life. If we are being picky, then I would have to say he was Thayne's kid too! SO not fair to have to carry them for 9 months or so and then have them be their father's child. Thayne has always told me I could never leave him, because I couldn't take his kids. I told him, 'Honey, if I ever left you, you better believe I wouldn't be taking any of those kids with me!!!!" hahaha! Why would I want more than a dozen kids that look and act just like their father if I didn't really LIKE their father!?! Thank heavens I really LOVE their dad! They sure got his sick sense of humor and silliness though. Kami has started telling us stories about how disturbing something is. The home health nurse was here taking Nate's blood and she bellies up to the counter and says, "I got my tonsils out and they took blood... it was disturbing!" She then describes in great details all about the medicine they gave her that made her feel funny, and the stuff they gave her before she fell asleep and how her throat felt after the surgery. And then told us again, "It was all very DISTURBING!" Oh this child! She's really rather adorable which makes her otherwise disturbing stories kind of fun to listen to!!!

5 am

I got up and walked today at 5am. I haven't done that since the week before Nate was flown to Primary Children's. Does that mean life is getting back to normal? I could have kept sleeping. I was really tired. But I did it. I got my act together and got out the door. And realized that it is DARK again at 5am. When did that happen??? The last time I walked it was light at 5am. That's what happens when you miss half of a month sitting in a hospital room I guess.

There was also something in the air this morning that reminded me of fall. How can that be? It's not even the middle of August yet. It seems like time is flying by so quickly. I blink and another year has gone by. It's incredible. My kids are growing up much too quickly.

Today, I guess, is the first normal day in weeks. I hope I am getting back to normal anyway. The home health nurse comes for Nate's weekly blood draw. Then off to the school for Bummy's kindergarten testing. Then to the video store to open and then to town with Kinzee to school shop. She's the last one needing to get it done. Then home to work on laundry and clean, and back to town for Nate's doctor appointment. Race home after that to get dinner and head over to the middle school for Willie's 6th grade orientation. Yep... sounds like life as usual to me!!!

More pictures

And here are the last two of Nate's pictures....

Nate's 6 month pictures... a month and a half late!

I was able to get Nate in and get his 6 month pictures taken and then of course things went crazy at our house and we spent the next couple of weeks in the hospital. In all of the madness I have just left his pictures sitting on a shelf and decided I better get busy and send them to some family and frriends before it is time to send out his 1 year pictures! I really liked them all, except the one with the black background with him on his belly. But he loved getting his picture taken and cooperated so well, so I can't complain about them at all!

It's Friday... isn't it???

Yep... I can tell it's date night. You ask how I can tell??? Well... it's because I am ready to rip my hair out by the roots if one more child cries, screams, shows me a bloody body part or complains about somebody for something they might have done, real or imagined!!!

Yes, it's date night!!! Well, it will be in 5 hours and 16 minutes! It's Friday, in August, 10 days before school starts. It's hot and muggy and I have miserable children bickering over silly things and I am ready to get off and go put them all to work! Yep... work will cleanse their souls, I am sure of it. I'll bet when I have them scrubbing walls and cleaning cupboards they will suddenly think of a million things they could be doing. I have been pooped on (thank you Nate, so glad things are working but um... did you have to completely drench me???), complained to, cried on, and thrown up on today, and it isn't even lunch time! Thayne called around 5:30am to tell me he left his phone on the foot of our bed and could I please get it into town for him. He is doing a job fair. The old company he worked for suddenly shut their doors and there are a bunch of miners out of work. He is supposed to hire 20 to 30 immediately so he is working today instead of being home enjoying the children (so to speak... he would have them working too if he could hear them!!!) So, I ran the phone to town... taking two grumpy boys with me. Stopped off at the video store to get it opened. Got to deal with an issue from an upset employee who called the boss and left a not so nice message... after I was going to take care of it! ACK! Visited my mom. Got home to take care of Nate's antibiotic. That's when he pooped on me. He threw up on me before I showered. I have a million things to do and no desire to do them. I get to take Nate in for a doctor appointment. Change vehicles with Jace. Have to get 2 girls into town to go on their trip to Idaho, have dinner planned and ready for the little kids. Arrange babysitting and boy oh boy... I'M GOING OUT TO DINNER AND A MOVIE!!! I can't wait.

I guess I better go make sure Willie is doing his job. He has tormented his sister long enough so he gets to scrub the bathtub and clean the bathroom. Darn the luck, he even ruined his chance to spend the night with his cousin. Poor kid. It's rough being a preteen!!! And here Wyatt was just telling me it must be so fun to be a mom!!! :) ;) WAHAHAHAHA!!!

The What Ifs....

Sometimes the what ifs can make it hard to focus on the here and now. I was talking to a friend that works for the medical supply place that brings Nathaniel's antibiotics. Since talking to her I have had a really hard time focusing on the fact that Nate is here, and gaining his health back. Well... I am not sure that is completely true. I keep thanking my Heavenly Father that Nate is here. I was talking to this friend about all that happened to Nate. She then told me that nobody here, in the medical field, that had heard about Nate expected him to live. She told me how scared she was for him.

Yesterday Thayne was at work and had to go talk to his boss. We had seen him at the clinic the day we took Nate in and was sent over to the ER. His wife is a nurse there but they had been out in the waiting room for an appointment. He was also there last week when we took Nate in for a follow up with the doctor. He told Thayne yesterday that Nate has the most incredible spirit, that you can just see how amazing he is. And then he said, "You do know that everyone thought he was dead." That's all they could talk about, was how sick he was. The doctor even called my cell phone a couple of days later to check on us.

Another friend told me a couple of days ago that we should have named him "Miracle" but I told her that Nathaniel means "Gift From God" and that was close enough to miracle for me!!!

So... I start thinking about the what ifs. What if we hadn't gotten him in when we did. What if we had waited another hour or two. What if we had believed them when they told us it was coxsackie virus. What if... what if... what if! It make me want to double over and be sick when I think of the what ifs.

Now I need to remember to pray everyday like it is a crisis. Too often we fall to our knees the most when life is out of control and we need the blessings immediately. I think when we forget to pray like we need to completely depend on the Lord, we also forget to be grateful for the small miracles of life. Thayne was telling the kids that we don't take enough time to be grateful. The little kids take their turn saying family prayers and they ask, but more often than not they really don't take the time to say 'thank you' to the One that gives us everything. I thought a lot about my Heavenly Father while Nate was sick. I thought that as much as I love Nate, as much as I struggled to see him in pain... my love isn't even a perfect love. I do have so much to be thankful for... I have so much gratitude for all of the blessings we have in our lives. And there are so many. I know that I can't let fear rule my life. I have to forget the what ifs and be grateful for all that I have. I always tell myself that faith and fear cannot co-exist. I know that sometimes I let fear rule. But I have faith that there is a plan for me, and for my family and I need to let the what ifs always remind me to be grateful for the here and now!!!

Sleep!

Is it possible to be more tired after getting a good night of sleep??? Nate actually slept last night (and please don't let me jinx myself!). I went to sleep at about 11pm last night and Nate didn't make a peep until 3:30am. I got up and fed him a bit and he went back to sleep so by 4am I was back asleep and didn't move until a little after 5am. He started fussing a little so I made a fresh bottle for him and we snuggled up and dozed off for the next hour or so. That is the longest stretch of time I have actually slept since a week before he was flown out. And I would love to sleep some more. Of course that won't happen since the house is alive with the sound of kids' voices discussing who is eating what cereal. Yesterday I got 40 boxes of Kellogg's cereal and only paid $30 for them! I also threatened them that they BETTER not open more than one box at a time... ;) Hence the discussion!!!

And on a really FUN note!!! Kimi is dating a guy that sounds like he may be just the perfect guy for her! I know his parents and if he is anything like them then I am very happy! :) They hung out at the young single adult Family Home Evening group Monday night... she said they just talked and talked and didn't want the night to end. As they were leaving the canyon he told her he didn't want it to end so they walked around the marina across the street from our house talking. They got to hang out last night too. He leaves for school at the end of the month and they are both already dreading it. I had to laugh because the first night I went out with Thayne we talked and talked.... for 6 hours! And Thayne kept telling me he didn't want the night to end. Hmmmmm.... just sounded a little funny to hear him say pretty much the same thing to Kimi. She is so incredible and has a gift with children that you rarely see. She said she just couldn't believe she could be in a relationship with a guy like him. I think she doesn't see herself in the same light that others see her... but I sure hope she has fun and realizes that all of her dreams can come true!

Life

I'm waiting for my turn in the shower so I thought I would just write! I should be doing laundry or something equally as productive, but that would take me getting up and right now I am so tired that I just don't want to. I feel like we ran all day yesterday... well, we really did run all day yesterday. My sister and I took my mom out to lunch for her birthday. There was a mix up in places, so by the time we picked my mom up we had to wait for a table. The regular cook was gone so we waited some more for our food... the owner was cooking and kept messing up orders... mine included! :) Oh well... the food is usually good enough that it wasn't a big deal. By the time I got home it was time to take Kassi to work and then ran into town to get Nate's weight checked. The home health nurse had come yesterday morning. Note to any future home health nurses... NEVER, EVER, NEVER tell the mom you don't know what you are doing! And ESPECIALLY don't do it with scissors in hand while cutting near the line that goes directly to that mother's child's heart!!! And especially do not do all of this and THEN say you need to go get your magnifying glasses!! Poor Kimi and Kailee were helping us change the PICC line dressing... I was holding him, they took turns holding his arm while the home health nurse did... well whatever it was that she did. I watched my poor daughters go from palest pale to um, well, GREEN!!! It was all really yummy to watch! NOT!!!

I was meeting Thayne at the clinic for Nate's weight check (and Thayne had an appointment). The home health had mixed up orders somehow (who knows what happened) but the clinic had finally received the lab results and that mornings blood work. I was supposed to just go in for a weight check (he's 14lbs... not even really down from his fully dressed 14lb 6oz weight before he went 12 days without eating food!) but the nurse said that the doctor handling his case while everyone was on vacation wanted to see him, that his blood work was off! I can't begin to express the fear that shot through me at that moment. Just an hour before the home health nurse had said Salt Lake told them he was improving. I was terrified. I think I was having a panic attack. I usually can control those really well but my faith was lacking and my fear was strong! Apparently his iron levels are still really low. Not as low as they were, and going up a very tiny little bit.... but the doctor wanted to see what he looked like so she could decide if something more needed to be done. It seems that everyone in the clinic had either seen or heard about how sick he was before he was flown out. It would seem he is some kind of miracle celebrity around here... that there was a question of whether or not he would make it through. We are going to give him iron and continue the treatment we are on and pray for great things!

Today is one of those days again where I am wondering what I was thinking when I thought 15 kids was a good idea! I am tired. I am not sleeping... and the kids have been on one since they woke up. I have heard enough screaming today to make my head explode. And it's not even 9:30am! We are going to have to shut down and re-evaluate life today and see what can be done with the madness. I was supposed to go walking the last two mornings with Katie. Yeah, 5am rolled around and I was just barely dozing from the all nighters I have pulled with Nate. Maybe if I would have given up the 27 minutes of sleep I actually got and went walking I would feel invigorated or something. But I was too tired to think about it! What I need is some serious SILENCE and a very LONG nap!!! Sure... that is a great thought. Instead, I better go start a load of laundry and get in the shower!

Just another Nate update...

And we are so glad to be home! Nate is doing great. His lung is still really junkie and that is a concern. But the meds were delivered yesterday and home health came for his check up and made sure I knew what I was doing giving him his IV meds. It's not really that complicated, just kind of freaks me out knowing that this line is in his arm going to his heart but I try not to think about that.

Nate, of course, is back in his comfort zone and is usually just beaming from the fact that everyone is constantly attentive to him. Almost to the point of ruining ME!!! :) He used to sleep through the night. Last night I finally got him to sleep at 12:35am!!! He is constantly smiling and happy and I can see small improvements in him. Friday and Saturday he looked exhausted most of the day but today he has just smiled and been really happy. He is eating pretty well. I just feel so very blessed that he is here and that we get to enjoy him, and each other. I am so grateful for my kids. And I am grateful for all those that took care of my family while I was away. A sweet friend brought dinner to us tonight. It was delicious. While we were away, several nights people brought dinner in and it warms my heart to think of how wonderful that was. We are so blessed with wonderful friends!!!

Jace bought Nathaniel and himself a Dallas Cowboy jersey the day before Nate was flown to Salt Lake. He brought it into the hospital and told Nate he had to get better so they could wear them together. They put the jersey on Nate today and we got the cutest pictures..... He and Jace are going to have their pictures taken of them BOTH in the same jersey, but it's easy to see that Nate was thrilled that he has his fan club back standing around adoring him!!!

The power of prayer!

I am often in awe of the power of prayer. I was thinking of all of the people that I know, of all different faiths that prayed for Nathaniel while he has been so sick. I am so grateful for all that prayed for him and I wanted to share what the power of prayer can do.

Yesterday one of Nate's doctors came in to check on him. She looked teary eyed which I thought was odd. But then she told me that she was so glad to see that he had turned the corner the way he did. She expressed to me how worried they had been about him, and that they weren't sure which way he would turn. Then she told me that they had a couple of patients that didn't turn out the way Nate did. That broke my heart. We had been so worried about him, and to be told how close we really came to losing him made me stop and think about the great blessings we had seen during his illness. Today two more doctors told me the same thing. The doctor in the ER told me that we had likely avoided disaster by hours if not less. I also spoke to a nurse and asked her about the comments from the doctor in the ER as he was giving instructions to everyone. I heard him mention that Nate's blood work showed he was going septic. The nurse told me that we came very close to it turning out another way.

And I thought of the prayers that were said in his behalf and I knew today that those prayers were what turned things around. For whatever reason, the prayers were answered in a positive way and our little man was blessed to stay with us. I felt the power of those prayers while I was there. I know that they lifted me and carried me when I went days without sleeping. Last night was a bad night. Nate's heart rate kept dropping very low and alarms kept going off all night. I couldn't sleep. So I prayed. And the peace came...

Early this morning one of the doctors came in and asked how we would like to go home. I could barely contain my joy. I asked him about last night and he said they saw nothing that they would be worried about. But then I started worrying about driving the 3 hours home after going without sleep for so long. And I prayed again. And an amazing thing happened. Not one moment of my drive home was I tired. I was awake and alert and again knew it was an answer to prayer. My family was praying that I would be safe in my travels coming home. I met Thayne and the kids at the store and Thayne noticed the front driver's side tire, and that back passenger side tire were both really, really low. To the point of being flat. They both have holes in them! But neither tire was ruined and neither tire blew while driving.

So to everyone that prayed, to everyone that put Nathaniel on their church prayer roll... thank you! Those prayers were answered in a very wonderful, very specific way and we are so very grateful. We are home. Nate still has a long recovery ahead of him, but he is home with his family. He is surrounded by the love of brothers and sisters that adore him.

These are pictures of him last night. And the last is the picture of him so excited to see all of his brothers and sisters around him! He is still really sick. We will be doing antibiotics through his PICC line for at least 3 weeks, possibly 6. But he is amazing and wonderful and his sweet, funny personality is definately back!!!