Life

I'm waiting for my turn in the shower so I thought I would just write! I should be doing laundry or something equally as productive, but that would take me getting up and right now I am so tired that I just don't want to. I feel like we ran all day yesterday... well, we really did run all day yesterday. My sister and I took my mom out to lunch for her birthday. There was a mix up in places, so by the time we picked my mom up we had to wait for a table. The regular cook was gone so we waited some more for our food... the owner was cooking and kept messing up orders... mine included! :) Oh well... the food is usually good enough that it wasn't a big deal. By the time I got home it was time to take Kassi to work and then ran into town to get Nate's weight checked. The home health nurse had come yesterday morning. Note to any future home health nurses... NEVER, EVER, NEVER tell the mom you don't know what you are doing! And ESPECIALLY don't do it with scissors in hand while cutting near the line that goes directly to that mother's child's heart!!! And especially do not do all of this and THEN say you need to go get your magnifying glasses!! Poor Kimi and Kailee were helping us change the PICC line dressing... I was holding him, they took turns holding his arm while the home health nurse did... well whatever it was that she did. I watched my poor daughters go from palest pale to um, well, GREEN!!! It was all really yummy to watch! NOT!!!

I was meeting Thayne at the clinic for Nate's weight check (and Thayne had an appointment). The home health had mixed up orders somehow (who knows what happened) but the clinic had finally received the lab results and that mornings blood work. I was supposed to just go in for a weight check (he's 14lbs... not even really down from his fully dressed 14lb 6oz weight before he went 12 days without eating food!) but the nurse said that the doctor handling his case while everyone was on vacation wanted to see him, that his blood work was off! I can't begin to express the fear that shot through me at that moment. Just an hour before the home health nurse had said Salt Lake told them he was improving. I was terrified. I think I was having a panic attack. I usually can control those really well but my faith was lacking and my fear was strong! Apparently his iron levels are still really low. Not as low as they were, and going up a very tiny little bit.... but the doctor wanted to see what he looked like so she could decide if something more needed to be done. It seems that everyone in the clinic had either seen or heard about how sick he was before he was flown out. It would seem he is some kind of miracle celebrity around here... that there was a question of whether or not he would make it through. We are going to give him iron and continue the treatment we are on and pray for great things!

Today is one of those days again where I am wondering what I was thinking when I thought 15 kids was a good idea! I am tired. I am not sleeping... and the kids have been on one since they woke up. I have heard enough screaming today to make my head explode. And it's not even 9:30am! We are going to have to shut down and re-evaluate life today and see what can be done with the madness. I was supposed to go walking the last two mornings with Katie. Yeah, 5am rolled around and I was just barely dozing from the all nighters I have pulled with Nate. Maybe if I would have given up the 27 minutes of sleep I actually got and went walking I would feel invigorated or something. But I was too tired to think about it! What I need is some serious SILENCE and a very LONG nap!!! Sure... that is a great thought. Instead, I better go start a load of laundry and get in the shower!