4 feet of ribbon later....

I found the cutest dresses yesterday while shopping for Kalli and Kami. I thought I had the red ribbon with white polka dots at home and about 9pm when I went to make the bows to match I realized that ribbon was gone. So I sent Kimi and Kailee on a mission for me... go to Walmart and buy 4 yards of ribbon! Kimi got up to the counter and asked for 4 feet of ribbon. The lady asked her if she was sure she wanted 4 feet. She said yes, she was sure. Kailee then laughed and said she thought it was 4 YARDS of ribbon. Okay, that sounds more like it. They didn't have 4 yards, but it was enough to get some bows for their pony tails and they looked absolutely adorable today!

Bad baby....bad dog!

Nate is officially into everything! He decided it is fun to torment me by getting into the snowmen on my coffee table. I have a neat 'chair' that has a tic tac toe game on it and he thinks it is the perfect size for him!!! I couldn't find my camera so the pictures from my cell phone were awful, but he is just so cute showing off after I told him he wasn't supposed to be sitting on the chair!

And poor Nate.... the only one that doesn't give him exactly what he wants is Romo the dog!!! He kept taking his 'duck' away from the dog... that duck was the only thing that got a response out of him in July when he was flown to Primary's. The nurse brought it in and for the first time in days he perked up, took it from her, wrapped his arms around it and laid his head back down! They were having a tug-o-war with it!

Kinzee the cheerleader!

Kinzee got to be a cheerleader this year and she loved it! She got her pictures back yesterday so I thought I would show her off! Go team!!!

Nathaniel Adam....

Where did the year go? Our precious baby boy is one!!! What a year. It seems like only yesterday we were driving over to Utah to have him. What a day that was. We got to the hospital ahead of schedule. They had me prepped and ready to go. The talk of the day was the lady coming in to have her 10th c-section, 15th baby. I was there by 10am and we were scheduled to have him at noon. I was calm and ready, feeling very positive. But the best laid plans never seem to come together and 3 hours later it was finally time to go. By then I was a nervous wreck, scared out of my mind. So I started praying for peace, decided to exercise faith that the surgery would go smoothly. I could see the entire surgery in the light above me. I couldn't take my eyes off it, afraid that if I did something might go wrong. It felt so surreal... watching them cut me open without feeling it. It felt like I was standing over me, watching it all happen. My doctor said that the scars on my uterus were thin, but intact and holding and that she could not believe how well I was doing, that a 10th c-section should not be so easy. I told her that was because my doctor with the last c-section was so good. She said, "Hey, I WAS your last doctor!" I watched as my beautiful boy was delivered. I was amazed at how beautiful he was. He looked so much like Hyrum, their profiles were the same and he looked exactly like he did in his ultrasound. I heard him suck in fluid and was so worried. I knew he had aspirated and just made myself believe that all of the blessings and all of the miracles would take place and we would have our sweet boy home with us for Christmas. They took him immediately to NICU. I sent Thayne with him. I told him that I would be fine, go with our precious little boy and be with him. They started the surgery just a couple of minutes after 3pm, and Nate was here at 3:32pm and I was headed to recovery by 4pm. 7lbs 5oz and 19 1/2 inches long. My arms ached to hold him, but they wouldn't let me go downstairs to the NICU. He was in NICU until 9:30pm Tuesday night and then didn't leave our sight the rest of the hospital stay.

This year seems like a dream, sometimes a nightmare though... I remember leaving the hospital with him. There was just a feeling from the beginning that something was wrong. We left in a horrible snow storm and had to drive over a couple of really scary mountain passes. At one point trucks were pulled over putting on chains, many were going 15 miles an hour. The roads were horrible. We knew if we stopped, we wouldn't get going in the little car so we just drove, 15, 20 miles an hour. And I had such a scared feeling. But it was more for Nathaniel... but there was this feeling around him, like angels were watching over him, like he was never really alone. Over the next 3 weeks there were times that he was watching something, someone, his eyes would move like he was watching somebody there and he would smile. He smiled real smiles at 4 days old. Sometimes I relive those moments when he stopped breathing, when his heart stopped, I can feel so vividly how I felt on the life flight that night in January. I had no idea if we were going to plan a funeral or what we would be facing. I remember thinking about the pioneers coming to Utah, and how they had to bury their loved ones, their babies in the hard cold ground and how hard that would be, I remember crying for all those that had ever lost a little one and wondering how they found the strength and courage to go on. It was such a cold, dark night. I couldn't let him go. Hours and hours after getting to the hospital, going over what happened with several different doctors, several different times they finally moved us to a room. I am not sure that I had slept for 3 1/2 weeks, but I knew I couldn't sleep and risk putting him down. So I held him, took in everything about him. Afraid that if I took my eyes off him I would lose him. I think of those months with oxygen, and his feeding tube. I am amazed at how the kids love this little man. They learned a valuable lesson. They learned the value of a life, and they are fiercely protective of him, of each other. For every horrible, heart stopping, life altering second, we learned so much, we learned to appreciate the moment, appreciate what we have, hold on to the moments, pray for each other, we learned to love more completely. We learned to appreciate even more the saying that we have always lived by, that "Families are forever". We have seen miracles, over and over. The power of prayer, of fasting is real. I remember how it felt in July, wondering if we were going to lose him again, wondering if we would ever see him smile again, not knowing if he would live through the strep pneumonia. He was so sick and I just wanted to see him smile again. And then to hear Talitha tell me that their family had fasted, and that she had prayed specifically that he would smile for me. He did! To know that all over the country, the world even, people were praying for him, people that only knew him through the internet had prayed for him and loved him. Those prayers were answered. But I know that even if the prayers had been answered a different way, even if we hadn't seen the miracles that saved him, he would be ours forever. But I am so grateful that we still have him with us. He knows he has us all wrapped around his finger but it's okay, we can deal with him being spoiled... it's worth it!!!

Happy Birthday our sweet Nathaniel. Your name means Gift from God, and you have been a gift to us, He has blessed us, blessed you, and you are truly a gift from Him. We love you so much!!! We will just be having a small family party tonight but this weekend we are going to have a HUGE party to celebrate all of us getting through this first year!!!

The night before he was born

Waiting for Nate to be born!

These were preemie sized clothes, he lost so much weight that first 3 weeks from being so sick, we were so worried and trying so hard to get somebody to believe that there was something wrong with him!



I look back now at his pictures and can see that he was so sick. It makes me want to cry when I see some of the pictures and realize how hard he was working to stay alive. I am so grateful for the moments that it seemed I heard a whisper to pick him up, move him, wake him up... those times I am sure saved his life! They told us that had he ever been put down in the night that he would have died.

All is calm....

I forget what it is like to just have little kids hanging out at home. Tonight all of the big kids were off doing their own thing and the little ones were hanging out, playing games and just getting along really well. It was fun. Hyrum, Kami and Kalli were playing Go Fish. Willie and Wyatt were playing Chess and Hayden was just watching. Nate was already in bed and all is calm in the house tonight. I can barely believe that we are only 9 days away from Christmas. This year has gone by in a blink of the eye. These days are so precious and I try to absorb all of the moments that seem to go so quickly.

And just for fun... Nate is absolutely NO help in wrapping presents... but at least he can't tell the kids what they are getting! He also decided that loading and unloading the dishwasher is a great thing... he's lots of help now! :) And one just because he is cute!

Also a couple of the kids posing in front of the Christmas tree... Kailee always seems to do a photo session for the kids whenever I leave the house. I literally have thousands of pictures that the kids take!

Viral infection? Or not! UGH

I get so frustrated going to the clinic. If we go to the clinic we only have to pay $10 for anything they do there. If we take them to the pediatrician that I like, it will cost us $20 plus 20% until our deductible is met. Thankfully Nate's deductible is met through the end of the year... I dread January!!! Last week we took several kids and Thayne to the clinic. Oh, and forget the clinic looking at a couple of extra after you pay for 6 or 7 kids... nope, they just won't. Our pediatrician will do it without batting an eye, which helps when you have several that are confirmed sick and several more coming down with whatever it is the others have. After going over the history of them all, us telling them that this has been going on for over a week and that they are coughing up GREEN stuff, they say it's a viral infection and to treat the symptoms. Days later they are fevered and sick and I call the pediatrician... and she calls in antibiotics with the promise that if it doesn't help through the weekend to get them in... it did!!! I had the same thing as Thayne, and my doctor gave me antibiotics because of the D&C but also to clear up my sinus infection. Within 2 days I was feeling much better. Thayne is still dealing with it. Today I took Tallin in because he has been sick for days... over a week. Same doctor, yes, he is coughing up tons of GREEN stuff...he tells us there is good news, and bad news. The good news, it's a viral infection. The bad news... it's a viral infection. Go home, suck it up and it will pass. I had Nate with me since he had just finished getting the synagis shot. So I told him, "Look, 7 people, including myself and Nate are on antibiotics and are getting better. Thayne is STILL struggling with being sick with his sinus infection, it is NOT a viral infection... we cannot afford to take this lightly, we all BREATHE on each other at home no matter how careful we are. PLEASE can we attempt to get everyone healthy at the same time???" He says, "The antibiotic helped?" YES!!! It helped!!! Oh, well... okay.... and we left with a prescription in hand!

Thayne said that several guys at work have been horribly sick and the clinic keeps telling them the same thing, it's a viral infection. The only problem is none of them are getting better! I think we should check into a conspiracy theory.... keep them coming back, never treat them and make them think they are all crazy!!!!! :) I certainly don't want to overuse antibiotics... .but SEVERAL times last winter we had to take kids in to a different doctor costing us not only the initial visit to the clinic but then higher deductables at another doctor and ended up needing meds to get better everytime. A couple of times they missed strep even after doing a strep test, because they would barely rub it at the back of their tongue... my kids have all had their tonsils out, they have to get clear back in their throats.... one time Hyrum had huge 'ulcers' at the back of his throat. I took him to the clinic after 4pm on a Thursday... told me it was viral, strep test negative, or so they said. Took him at 9am the next morning to our ped, she commented on the horrible 'ulcers' at the back of his throat, and strep positive test. I asked them if the clinic could have missed that. She said maybe, if it was too early. I asked her, "Last night? At almost 5pm?" She just shook her head and said no! So why do I do this to myself? Why do I believe that at some point they are going to tell me what it truly is and not what they decided in the meeting for the month to diagnose everyone as having! They have even misdiagnosed cancer... told people they had cancer and they didn't! I can't imagine how horrible that would be!

Bottom line??? We are hopefully getting everyone better now... viral? Bacteria??? Hmmmm.... guess we'll see how fast Talling gets better on antibiotics!

Got tagged....

I haven't done any 'tags' before but Talitha tagged me and it sounded fun!!!



RULES:

1. Go to your pictures

2. Go to the 4th file & upload the 4th picture

3. Post & tell about the picture

4. Tag 4 friends

Hmmmmmm... okay, well, this is Kassi at the video store we manage after putting up the Hulk display... she was doing her best interpretation of The Incredible Hulk... incredible isn't it???

I tag...well, anybody that wants to play! But Natalie, Candice, Trish and Bri!

Ward Party... over! WHEW!

I am soooooo glad our party is over! To be honest, I get very frustrated with our ward parties! Sometimes it seems that parents forget they have children and children forget they are in the church so chaos reigns and I feel a little tense to put it nicely! :) And trying to make it possible for Santa to come in and get kids lined up so we can take pictures is well... impossible! But everyone always seems like they enjoy themselves even if I feel crazy so I guess that is the important part???!!! This year it seemed like a good idea to involve the masses of children instead of having them running. So a few brave friends and I herded them into the primary room (think sheep... nativity... hehe!) and we dressed children as angels, shepherds, even sheep and a star, Joseph and Mary and read the story of the birth of Jesus from the Bible. The kids were quite well behaved (I begged them to be angelic!!! lol), the parents did not sing very loud when they were supposed to... but they are adults, what do you expect? And when Santa came it was completely crazy and out of control... but our Santa was awesome and we finally got all of the kids through the line and got the church cleaned and home... exhausted, but relieved. I wanted to go right to bed, but didn't, and unfortunately caught my second wind and couldn't go to sleep until after midnight! Nate is not feeling well, has the 'crud' that is going around and was up several times in the night... so maybe I should go to bed right now and avoid the 'second wind' thing! Katie said something about 'next year when you do this....' and I told her to BITE her tongue!!! Ohhhhhhhh... it's all good.... I like to do things like that, just have a bad attitude this year..... :)

Hayden with Santa.....
Kalli with Santa....

Cereta (niece) with Santa....
Hyrum and Santa....
Jarom (nephew) with Santa....

My camera battery died so I have to wait on friends that took pictures of the other kids before I can post them! I can't believe the battery died!!!