We support our troops!

I have been thinking about a conversation I had with a guy at the airport in Salt Lake.

It was only the two of us and the bus driver and we were talking about the new dog he had just brought home for his wife.

He said their dog they had for 15 years had died and since he was leaving for Afghanistan in 4 days and he wanted the dog to keep his wife company.

He has been in the Navy for 29 years and has 2 boys who are serving in the military also.

One of them is leaving for Iraq for the 3rd or 4th time on the same day he leaves.

It was amazing to hear him talk about serving our country.

As we were getting closer to my stop,

I told him to be safe, and that he is a hero!

I was a little surprised at his reaction.

He got tears in his eyes, which made me get tears in my eyes too.

And he said,

"Thank you. We don't feel like heroes and often wonder if we have been forgotten over there."

He said this is their job, but expressed his love of our country and hope that we always remember the cost of freedom.

Yesterday, as I looked at the flags and the message of support for our troops,

I thought of this man, and his son who would be leaving the country they love to do their job, and I thouht of his wife, who was saying goodbye to her husband and her son for another year.

And how many times she has done it before.

And I said a prayer for their safety...and for their willingness to serve...

I hope that we never forget what it has cost us to be free!

End of the year...

I will admit it. I am a really bad mom! It's okay, you don't have to tell me. I already know. But I get so tired of the end of the year... stuff... They wait until the very end to heap it all on us at once. And while I enjoy seeing my kids do their... stuff... I mostly am not that excited about sitting through all of the other stuff! For instance, I liked it when my kids were in the middle school and/or high school choir. But when I only have one in high school singing, I don't really want to spend an hour and a half listening to the middle school singing too... not because they don't sing well, it's just that there are only so many hours in the day. And, the gym is hot... really hot! As in sweat dripping down into our eyes. And the seats are really uncomfortable. And I seem to usually, at least sometimes/mostly be pregnant while I am sitting in said, uncomfortable seats! And, I will be honest.... I hate the smells of sitting in those seats. Cigarette smoke makes me terribly sick, as in a migraine to knock me to the ground.... and when I am pregnant, I can smell things that maybe I normally wouldn't smell... like body odor, and cheap perfume and well... it's horrible I know, but I already admitted I am a horrible mother for hating these things! They do banquets and concerts and ceremonies and plays and I KNOW that there are a lot of families that have a lot of kids involved in several things at once so I know that they can't all be excited to sit night after night through another activity. Or maybe they do and I am just really horrible!!! It's a shortcoming I may overcome before the last child grows up. Or maybe it just won't be a big deal when I am down to my last child... except then I will also have grandchildren involved and I will feel the need to go see them in whatever activity they happen to be in at the time. Who knows! So for now I will count down the days... we can do this. Only a few more field trips, a few more class activities, a few more programs... and then summer! No schedules, no agendas, no running to and fro, no sitting in uncomfortable, hot, stinky gyms... no rushing from one place to another or splitting up to tag team activities....

Well... we can dream can't we???

But, Kinzee did look beautiful and they did sing amazingly well, and even she was ready to rush out the door as soon as they had sang the last song!!!

Missionaries

I recently ran away from home.

Just for the weekend...

and I came back home.

Actually home is my favorite place to be,

but running away is kind of fun too!

When we first got to Talitha's house from the airport

3 missionaries showed up at her house.

Everytime I see missionaries I can't help but think of my own.

It makes me happy and homesick at the same time.

It was fun to talk to them and hear them share their testimonies.

It is amazing to see how they grow up...

they leave as boys, and come back as men who have learned to give of themselves.

I got to talk to Tallin on Mother's Day.

We skype him, and for a minute it looked like the connection wasn't going to work out.

I don't know if I was just especially homesick and emotional but I thought I would have a break down before we finally got it figured out.

It was fun to hear the kids all talking to him and laughing...

they miss their brother!

It was good to hear that he was doing good.

It's hard when they are struggling and are so far away from home.

And he had been struggling.

But things seem to be going really well for him now.

While I was waiting to get on the plane in Denver,

I noticed a missionary and his dad and brother.

He had that look that missionaries seem to have when they are going home.

That look like they were happy... but mostly just at a loss that the real world is ready to barge into their bubble.

I watched him as he sat down on the plane,

and it made me smile.

I thought, as I watched him that his mom would be proud.

I could hear his conversation with the woman sitting beside him and I could tell that he had loved his mission and that while he was excited to get home,

he also didn't want to leave behind all that a mission meant to him!

I also thought how funny it is that I feel a great sense of peace when I am flying when I see a missionary on the plane.

I know it is silly... but I don't reallly like to fly!

And I tell myself that since I know those missonaries seem to have guardian angels watching over them that I must be pretty safe on the plane! :)

I realize that it is just a 'hope' that I have to make the take off and landing easier

but I am okay with fooling myself!

I love my missionary and am so grateful that he is in Fiji,

serving, and learning and growing into the man he is supposed to become!

Jeffrey R. Holland said of missionary work:

"I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are the Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him?"

Being a missionary is not easy.

It isn't supposed to be.

But I am so grateful to have the opportunity to know many missionaries.

And to be the mom of a missionary right now.

Merle Haggard concert

We found out Merle Haggard was going to be in Wendover on May 14th and quickly bought tickets months ago. Garrett and Tiffany were going with us. I asked Tiffany if she listened to his music before she met Garrett and she said she didn't know who he was before then... guess we ruined her! I love that my kids have such a love for all kinds of music, including classic country. Kailee's boss found her iPod one time and laughed at the different music on it... from classic country to classic rock and all of the new stuff too! We can go from Merle, to Pink to Rick Springfield and everything in between while we are on road trips!!!

The only problem with the concert was that it wasn't nearly long enough for us! His voice is still amazing, though he joked that he wrote a lot of those songs in his 20's at sea level and has a harder time hitting the notes now, but it was fun to be able to say we were there and his voice still takes me to a happy place. I love so many of his songs and have such happy memories of them, but Sing Me Back Home always makes me want to cry a little bit. My dad used to sing this song while we were traveling. I remember nights in the car, moving, or going to Utah to visit family and my mom would tell me to make sure dad stayed awake, and I took that 'job' very serious... so I would stay awake to make sure he did! That was back in the day before satalite radio and often there were no radio stations as we drove... and this was always one of my favorites. His voice sounded so much like Merle's and whenever I hear this song, I can hear my dad singing it!

We had a great time at the concert. And Thayne surprised me with getting a room with the big jacuzzi bathtub and we had a fun, relaxing little get away! I love being married to such a great man and I love just hanging out with him. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes life so much sweeter just because he is mine! 25 years ago I was counting down the days to become his wife. It's amazing to me that even now, I look at him and feel those same butterflies and know that nothing in life would have been as good without him in it! I love that he makes me laugh, and gives me a million reasons to smile. I am a very lucky girl!!!

Perfection!!!

I went for my 3rd follow up ultrasound appointment today.

In truth I really didn't 'need' that third ultrasound.

The first thing Thayne said to me after they said that they wanted to

follow up was that they were looking for any reason to do another one.

It's true.

They said that the vein in his head was the large side of normal last time,

nothing to worry about they told me, but they wanted to see me again...

I told them a big head for our kids is totally normal ;)

but I will take ANY excuse to see him again.

This time was probably my favorite because he was really moving

and showing off his little personality.

I asked for a picture of his face and while they were trying to get it,

he was showing us that he didn't appreciate them pushing on his little nose!

He even lifted his leg to kick at the pressure!

He has those lips, and ears and a sweet chubby face

and I cannot wait to squeeze him and cuddle him.

I wonder how it is possible to be this incredibly, ridiculously happy!

I can't get over the miracle he is!

He is breech, but that certainly doesn't matter...

And after they did the scan and took all of the results to the specialist to look at,

she finally came back into the room to tell me

that while there are no guarentees in life,

this baby is as perfect as they come!!!

Perfection!

Just the fact that he is coming to us is perfect,

but to hear that everything looks as wonderful as it possibly can

makes me want to do a little dance.

Oh wait...

I did!!!

When I came home and showed Nate the pictures

he grabbed them and said how cute his baby is,

and then, in his excitement he leaned down and kissed my belly

and told me how much he loves Noah!

Our little Noah!!!

He is a miracle.

He is a gift!

Perfection!!!

On being a mother...

Mother's Day seems to bring out the best,

and worst feelings in women...

There are women who have a mother's heart

who are not able to carry a child,

there are mother's who don't really mother at all,

there are mother's who feel that not matter what,

they are falling short.

I hear of women who hate to go to church on Mother's Day

and even women who find offense over what is said there.

There are women who feel that they are somehow less

because they are women.

Which is probably the saddest to me!

I have always felt,

the way the leaders of our Church feels,

that motherhood is the

"highest, holiest service... assumed by mankind."

I have felt that since I was young,

before I ever became a 'mother'.

Gordon B. Hinckley told us that

mothers can do more than any other group to reverse today's

sobering social trends.

And I also believe that you do not have to bear children

to have a mothers heart.

I see so many women who 'mother' my children

simply because they love them the way I do.

They demand the best from them even when I am not around.

I am thankful for the way that women nurture and love...

usually others live up to the way we treat them and expect for them to be.

Not always...

but usually it is true!
Sheri Dew has said that
"All around us are those who need to be loved and led,

nurtured and mentored.

The spiritual rewards of mothering are available to all."

I am grateful for being a mom to my kids.

I have said before that this was my only real desire in life.

It is hard sometimes, ha, let's be honest,

it is hard almost all of the time...

but it is fulfilling always!

It seems like I have always known that I would not have an

ordinary family....

I didn't know that it meant I would have an

extraordinary family!

And while I don't expect to be spoiled on Mother's Day...

it seems like the older the kids get,

the more spoiled I end up.

With a beautiful orchid

and beautiful flowers,

and well...

an iPhone!

Which totally just blows my mind!

It shows my age when I say that a Walkman used to be an exciting thing.

And now, I get to pack around a little computer....

I used to think being able to listen to music in your ear while walking

was just amazing....

and now I can have 20,000+ songs at the touch of a button!

Oh yes, life is wonderful!

I get to be a mom

AND

have an iPhone!!!

I am grateful for my mom.

For all that she has taught me...

through her example, through her faith,

and even sometimes through her trials.

She made me who I am,

gave me faith to believe in something bigger than myself.

I am grateful for Thayne's mom,

who also sacrificed to give him life.

I can barely believe that another generation is starting...

and I hope that I get to 'nurture' that generation always.

That they will know that I love them,

and that they can count on me.

Happy Mother's Day to all women who have a mother's heart!

The bassinet...

We pretty much got rid of everything for a baby after Nate

and I admit I have had a lot of fun getting new things for the new baby.

I have always loved these bassinets and now wonder

why in the world I waited to get one like it

until the 16th baby!

I wonder how it is possible to be this incredibly excited for this baby

to be born!

I went ahead and ordered the bassinet...

and it is SO cute!

It's fun to watch the kids come into the room and talk about

how excited they are for the baby to be in this now!

Nate can barely stand the excitement.

He tells me everyday how he can't wait to see his brother

in the new bed.

But then he came into my room and told me that he wishes

that he was 'this' tall

(he showed me the measuring tape at 13 inches tall!)

so he could sleep in the bed.

Last night I put him in the bassinet and he pretended to be asleep.

Yes, I know I am creating a monster.

No... I take that back,

he is already a monster!!!

But a sweet, really cute monster!

And one we can totally live with!

Living My Dream....

Some people have grand plans to save the world,

or be a fire figher or a police officer

or a doctor or nurse when they grow up.

Me? Well, my dreams weren't quite the same as some of my friends.

My dream was big...

but it was all about a BIG family.

I wanted to marry my Prince Charming,

have lots of babies,

and live happily ever ever.

I knew that happily ever after would take work,

but for as long as I can remember I dreamed those BIG dreams.

And with a house FULL of babies,

I couldn't wait to have grandbabies!

I was thinking not long ago that I have 3 married kids,

but only one grandbaby.

And let's face it... he's a doll!

There is nothing quite like having him come to me and give me loves.

The other day he was kind of sleepy and fussy

and was mad at his parents, and everyone it seems.

So I give him the sympathy that only grandma can...

tell him how bad it was for every one to be bugging him,

and he pulls a pouty face and lays his head on my shoulder and really,

just milks it for all he is worth!

That is living my dream...

being grandma to a cute kid like that!

But... I admit I wondered when those other grandbabies

would start coming!

And then we got the great news that Kimi is expecting.

I have to say I love modern technology because I don't just hear

that she is expecting...

I get a text picture on my cell phone showing me the positive test!!!

Yay Kimi,

Because we know how excited she is to become a mommy!

So I am thrilled and already thinking about how Christmas time will be busy

and I am glad that our own sweet baby will be a little bigger

so I can help her out.

And then...

after hoping for a long time now...

I get yet another message,

and funner still,

a picture of the positive test

and an excited phone call from Garrett

letting me know that on Gabe's second birthday

they are expecting #2!

So we will be getting a new baby in July to keep filling our house,

and another sweet grandbaby in December,

and then another in January.

Talk about living your dream!!!

I feel like the blessings of heaven are falling down all around us!

More babies to love...

More babies to hug on, to spoil...

our love has grown,

multiplied!!!

Oh... I love it when dreams come true!!

Nate's tonsils are out...

We knew this was coming... even though we tried really hard to avoid it it had gotten to the point of either doing it, or living on antibiotics, which wasn't really an option. His immune system is pretty much nonexistent! The minute he went off antibiotics he would get strep or tonsillitis again. We decided to take him over to our hometown because we really trust the doctor that would take them out. We saw him on Friday and he said it was pretty cut and dry, get them out. His tonsils are horrible and his adenoids are huge! Might even be the reason he has apnea. So we scheduled it for Wednesday but I was scared. We haven't exactly had an easy time with him and surgery and I dreaded this one most of all. Monday night Thayne, Garrett and Jace gave him a Priesthood blessing that promised him a smooth surgery and a quick and easy recovery. Which made me feel much better about it... but still hated to see him have to go through it. Thayne had also given me a blessing that said told me that Nate would be watched over and that the hands of the doctor would be guided. So, I shouldn't have been surprised when my favorite nurse peaked her head in the door to let us know that the surgery had gone well and that the doctor's hands just flew. When he mentioned how quickly the surgery went, after telling us it would be much longer, I didn't tell him it was the legion of angels that seem to watch out for Nathaniel!

He slept most of the way home and slept through the night until 3am. I got him to drink some juice but he didn't want to take his medicine. I asked Thayne to give it to him before he went to work but Nate still wouldn't take it. So Willie and I had to hold him down and force him this morning and after that, he has either napped or been up going about life as usual including insisting on pushing a little shopping cart at the store today.

I know this needed to be done and I am so very grateful for how well it went and how his recovery is going so far. I hope that this gives his body time to be free of the infection and that we can have a happy, healthy summer with him gaining his strength back!!! Getting ready to go to the operating room...Sweet little man cuddling on his daddy's chest while he is trying to wake up from the anesthisia.

Pictures from Fiji...

It's strange that some days I don't think about how far away Tallin is from us, and just feel at peace that he is doing what he is supposed to be doing and other days it feels like he is so far away I can't breathe. I am happy that he is there, but sometimes, especially when I know he is struggling a bit. Tuesday I ran over to Salt Lake for doctor appointments and orthodontist appointments and we went to eat after and saw a couple of Elders sitting outside waiting to go in. While we were eating a group of 10 Elders came in and sat at the table right next to us. I heard them laughing and talking the way carefree teens who happen to have a purpose seem to do. I had been really missing Tallin, worried about him and feeling like he is a million miles away... and it was like the Lord sent this group of missionaries to the very place I would be to let me know the He is aware of how hard it can be, and that Tallin is alright, and that He is aware of us all. And I felt better!!! It was fun to watch little kids as they were leaving with their parents yell out to the missionaries saying, "Hi Elders!" or "Bye Elders!" and I knew that somewhere around the world little ones are yelling the same thing to MY Elder! It just so happened that I got a disc full of pictures from Fiji also and I loved looking at them and seeing what an amazing opportunity he is able to have!!! What a gorgeous place! What a wonderful chance for him to serve others, to give of himself and to become a most amazing man!! We are about a quarter of the way there... I know that the days are flying by and I know that I will continue to feel peace whenever I get a little too homesick, because I know that he is where he is supposed to be, and I am grateful that he is!!!