Contemplating what it means to be mom...

I love being a mom. When I was young I had dolls... loved dolls, and dreamed of the day when I could be a mom to 'real' dolls! I wanted babies, and I wanted lots of babies. I didn't want a career, I didn't want lots of things, I just waned to find the man of my dreams and get married. Thankfully Thayne was willing to let me fulfill those dreams and he is the most amazing husband and father and we make a pretty good team when it comes to our family.

But I think about what it means to be a mom. I have seen women who have kids, but then don't want to be bothered to raise those kids. I see women that think that the kids should know immediately now to behave, what they should or shouldn't do, or get frustrated that they have to tell them something over and over again.

Then the dynamics change when you get more than one kid, and then several kids! Because you cannot choose their personalities... you cannot choose to like one child over another, you cannot decide that one has a greater worth than another. Yet sadly I have seen it. Sadly at times we have to live with the consequences of others actions. I never felt like having a big family was in any way dividing love, or that there is less love to give because there are more people. I have always found that the more you have to love, the greater the capacity TO love. From the moment we know about each child, from the very beginning, long before they are ever born into our family, we seem to grow a new heart, a heart just for that child. I don't have one heart... I have one for each child. What Thayne and I created is the greatest gift and often I look at Thayne and feel like my heart will just burst from the love I feel... I think the more kids you have, the more you appreciate and love them because you know just how quickly those days will roll into years and they will be grown before you know it! Time seems to move more quickly and those precious moments are gone with a blink of the eye.

I have watched how hard it is on those that feel 'second' in the eyes of their mother. I have watched kids do without the love and affection and adoration of parents and grandparents and it just makes me sad! So there are a few things that I want to promise my kids...

I promise them that I will always take an interest in their lives... whether or not I have an interest in any particular activity they are doing, I will be interested because it is something that they are doing, something that they enjoy! I will not compare them to their siblings, or anyone else! I will always try to understand their unique personalities and rejoice in what they are doing... regardless of anything, or anybody else!

I will find joy in their joys! I will rejoice with them in the good news they have to share and the achievements that are theirs alone to brag about! I will ESPECIALLY rejoice with them as they find their spouse, and oh how I will always rejoice when they announce pregnancies... I think of how often I wanted nothing more than a 'congratulations' when we announce a pregnancy. I don't care if it is a first, or a 15th... each baby is unique, special and oh so one of a kind and very welcome! I never compared our kids with others their age... some walked early, some late, some spoke early, some late, some had a mouth full of teeth at one, some were waiting for their first at that age... it just doesn't matter! I don't care if my brother's kids are doing more or less than my kids. It just makes me happy watching them grow, and learn and expeience the wonders of this world! I do not care if they are the first, or the last... I just care that they feel loved and accepted and I always want to make them feel that they will have a cheerleader in their corner when they come to me! I will cheer them on, laugh when they laugh, cry when they cry and more than anything else I will walk with them in their journey through life... because that is what a family is for!!!